Suicide
by Rose Thorne
Summary: When Hiei tries to commit suicide, the others must try to figure out how to stop him from wanting to die. SHONEN AI: YuusukeHiei. Plagiarism of this or any other of my fanfics will not be tolerated. Chapter 15 up: 6.6.06. Timeline? What timeline?
1. Chapter One

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter One  
Hiei watched with interest as the blood flowed down his hands from the slices in his wrists, pooling on the ground around him. He smiled. He had finally done it. He had finally gained the courage to end his pitiful and unwanted existance. The courage to die.

Just a couple quick slices with barely any pain, and he was on his way to death. To freedom. To his reincarnation. To a life that would, without a doubt, be better than the one he had been living for nearly two hundred years. He wondered why he had not done this before, then shook his head, amused. He had thought that life would get better; that someone would bother to care about him. _I was so naive . . ._

He wondered how the others would react to his death then chuckled derisively. They wouldn't care. His life had benefited no one, not even himself. His death would only please others.

Hiei leaned back against the tree, still watching the flow of blood. He felt at peace. Almost . . . happy . . .

The bushes rustled and the Jaganshi blinked. "Hiei? Are you okay? Your ki is low. Did you get into another fight?"

_Kurama . . ._ Hiei cursed to himself as the fox stepped from the brush.

"Hiei?" The redhead noticed the blood and rushed over, grabbing Hiei's arms and staring in disbelief at the deep slices. Kurama looked at him, his green eyes filled with grief . . . and betrayal. "Why?"

". . ." Hiei didn't answer for a while, not bothering to fight as Kurama began to bind the wounds. "I just want it to end . . ." the fire demon whispered, his voice barely audible.

Kurama picked Hiei up and ran in the direction of Genkai's temple. "Why?" _Why does he want to die?!_

The fire demon didn't struggle. His body felt numb. His head ached strangely, making it hard to think. "Tired of life . . . of being unwanted . . ."

_He really thinks . . .?_ Kurama's lips thinned. "You're not unwanted anymore, Hiei."

Hiei's eyes closed. "Liar," he accused softly, then passed out.

_K'so! I won't let this happen!_ Kurama ran faster, reaching Genkai's temple quickly. He rushed up the stairs and checked for Yukina's ki, cursing as he found Kuwabara's and Yuusuke's as well. Genkai was there as well. _It doesn't matter,_ Kurama told himself. _We'll have to deal with this together._ He rushed in. "Yukina-chan!"

The four looked looked up. Yukina rose, her face worried. "Is Hiei-san hurt?"

"Hai," Kurama whispered, setting the fire demon down and showing her his wrists.

The Koorime applied her healing power to the wounds and they closed immediately, leaving scars. Yukina frowned. _Scars . . .That means . . . Did he . . .? Hiei-san . . ._ Tears threatened to spill over. "Why . . .?"

_Those look like . . ._ Yuusuke shook his head in disbelief. "He didn't . . ."

Kurama swallowed hard. "He did."

Kuwabara looked confused. "What?"

"He slit his wrists," Kurama whispered. "He said he wanted it to end. That he's tired of life . . . tired of being unwanted. I was on my way here when I felt his ki drop. If I hadn't been around . . . how long would it have been before we'd found him . . .? We would have been way too late to save his life . . ."

Genkai watched, silent. Yuusuke slumped, shocked. _Gods . . . He really wanted to die . . ._ "What're we going to do?"

Kurama looked at the new scars on Hiei's arms--scars that would never fade--and sighed. "I don't know, Yuusuke. I really don't."

* * *

*sigh* I did it again. I started a new fic. On a school night. At 2 am. *sigh* Another multi-chapter fic.

Note to all: On October 28, 2002, this fanfic was removed from fanfiction.net for an unspecified guideline violation. This means I lost all of the 66 reviews that you all so wonderfully gave me, which is a shame. This fic's original publication date was February 24, 2002. I am reposting it with an R rating on November 4, 2002.


	2. Chapter Two

Suicide

By Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Two  
Hiei woke slowly, sluggishly becoming aware of his surroundings. _The temple . . . K'so. I'm not dead._ He looked at his wrists and smirked slightly as he saw the scars. He could try again. They had stopped him this time, but he could always finish the job later.

"Don't even think about it." Hiei blinked, startled, turning to see who had spoken. Yuusuke sat by the wall, his face stony. The fire demon's eyes widened at he looked at Yuusuke's eyes. They were filled with anger and betrayal, similar to how Kurama's had looked. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

Hiei sighed, pointedly turning his face away. "Doing you a favor."

Yuusuke's eyes widened as he stared at Hiei. "You think trying to kill yourself was a favor to me?! You selfish little bastard!" Hiei said nothing. Yuusuke forced himself to calm down, staring at the fire demon. Shock filled him as he realized exactly what Hiei had said. "You think I _want_ you dead?"

"Hn."

_That probably means yes . . . knowing Hiei._ "Hiei . . . You're my friend. I don't want you dead. I would be upset if you died." Hiei gave no reaction. "Don't you understand that?"

"We're not friends," Hiei muttered bitterly. "We're only allies. You don't need me anymore."

_What the hell?!_ "That's bull and you know it, Hiei. If we were just allies, would we have tried to get you to join us and have fun? We consider you a _friend_, Hiei. Why can't you understand that?" Hiei muttered something that Yuusuke didn't hear. "What?"

The fire demon sat up, glaring at Yuusuke. "There is no such thing as 'friends.' Not for me. The only worth I ever had in the 'group' was to fight. Don't bull shit me, Yuusuke. You can't just waltz in and decide to care about my life when all I want is for it to end!" The fire demon looked away. "I'm tired of fighting, Yuusuke. Why can't _you_ understand?"

Yuusuke glared at Hiei. "You're right. I don't understand how someone who has friends who care about him could want to die. And I don't understand how someone who I thought was smart turned out to be so dense." The ningen sighed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there are worried people who were waiting for you to wake up." Yuusuke rose. "And this room is surrounded by a kekkai that's designed to keep you in it, so don't bother trying to leave." The raven-haired boy left, slamming the door loudly behind him.

_Why do they care? It's not as if my life benefits them. Or even means anything. Why the hell do they want me to stay alive?_

The door opened and Kurama came in, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Hiei icily. After a few moments, the fox spoke. "You hate us that much?"

Hiei blinked. _Hate them . . .?_ "No."

"Then why did you try to commit suicide, Hiei?" The fire demon didn't answer. "Self-hatred?" Hiei flinched and Kurama sighed. "You have no reason to hate yourself, Hiei." The redhead crossed the room and sat on the floor by Hiei's futon, his face weary. "It's our fault. If we'd known that you didn't feel welcome, we could have done something. But now . . . Now we don't know what to do. All we know is that we should have noticed."

Hiei said nothing. _Why do they blame themselves? It's my fault. I never should have been born. I was just trying to correct that mistake . . ._

"I'm sorry, Hiei."

Hiei clenched his fist. "It's not your fault, so stop blaming yourself." _Why? Why do they care so much?!_ "I should have died a long time ago. I'm just correcting that mistake." _There. I said it. Not that they care how I feel. But they won't stop me next time._

Kurama just stared at him for a while. "You know, Hiei, I may be a youkai, but I will never understand you." He stood. "Now that we know that we can't leave you alone, we'll have to figure something out. You may want to die, but we aren't going to let you." The fox left the room, closing the door behind him.

Hiei sighed and flopped back on the futon. _I don't get it. Why do they care?!_

The door opened again after a while and Kuwabara stepped in. He just stood there, staring at the fire demon for a few minutes before speaking. "You know, Hiei . . . I'd never thought of you as weak until now. You're such a coward."

Hiei lay there, shocked, for a moment, then sat up, his brow furrowed, but the door was already closed again and the room empty except for him. _K'so! What did he mean by that?_ He scowled at the ceiling. _I don't get them._

After nearly an hour, Yukina came in with a tray of food. "I thought you might be hungry, Hiei-san." She set the tray by the futon and sat down. "Hiei-san . . . Why do you wish to die?"

The Jaganshi stared at his sister for a long moment then looked away. "I have nothing to live for, and I'm tired of living for nothing."

The little Koorime frowned, tears spilling down her cheeks cheeks to clatter on the wooden floor as tear gems. "You won't even live for me? And your friends?" Hiei flinched and didn't respond. "Hiei-san . . . I know that you are my brother."

Hiei's head jerked up and he stared at her, open-mouthed. _She knew . . .?_ A small part of his mind berated him. _Of course she knew, you fool! She's not stupid!_

The girl wasn't looking at him. "Do you really hate me so much that you would kill yourself rather than have me as your sister?" Hiei stared at her in total shock. Yukina still refused to look at him, and took his silence badly. "Gomen nasai, Hiei-san!" She rose and hurried toward the door.

_No! I can't let her think that! It's not true! I can't cause her pain like that!_ Hiei grabbed her arm and she stopped. "No . . . I don't hate you, Yukina-chan. I . . ." The fire demon closed his eyes briefly, releasing her. "You're perfect. I don't deserve to even be able to associate with you." Hiei sat back on the futon. "It isn't your fault."

Yukina hugged him. "Oniisan . . . You're my brother! I love you! How could you think that you don't deserve to be my brother? If anything, I don't deserve to be _your_ sister! You're so strong and . . . I'm just weak." _At least . . . I thought he was strong . . . But now I don't know._ Hiei hesitantly put his arms around her, hugging her loosely. They held each other for a few minutes. Finally, Yukina pulled away. "Oniisan . . . You won't try to hurt yourself again, will you?" Hiei flinched and looked away. "Oniisan . . . Why?"

Hiei was silent for a long time. "My life has no purpose, Yukina. I just feel like . . . like I was only born to suffer and die. Always fighting . . . And I'm so tired of it. I just want it to end."

"Oniisan, you don't have to suffer anymore. We all care about you! You don't have to go back to the Makai. You could stay here and live as a ningen, and not fight!"

_It would never work . . . Fighting and suffering always follow me . . ._ Hiei looked away. "I'm not human, 'Kina . . ."

Yukina hugged him tightly. "Onegai, oniisan . . . Think it over. I don't want to lose you!"

_Asking something of me that I don't want to give . . ._ Hiei smiled weakly. "I'll think about it . . ." Yukina smiled brightly at him and left the room, closing the door behind her and leaving Hiei alone with his thoughts. _All I want is for this life to end . . . I'm glad that she cares about me, but . . . it doesn't change the fact that I just want to die._

Hiei looked at the food that Yukina had brought with a sigh. He had absolutely no appetite, but he knew that the others would have a fit if he didn't eat at least some of it, so he forced himself to eat half of what was on the tray. Then he pushed the tray away from the futon and lay down, allowing sleep to claim him.

* * *

*sing-song* I know where I'm going with this. *leans close* Wanna know? You do? Well . . . it's a secret! *snickers as the Nadia theme rolls in the background* I think I need sleep. Yeah. Second night in a row that my muse has attacked me after midnight. I need to get it to stop being nocturnal.

Revised with Ping's advice. Thank you!


	3. Chapter Three

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Three  
Hiei woke and sat up as the door opened again. Kurama, Kuwabara, Yuusuke, and Yukina filed in. They didn't close the door behind them. Hiei briefly wondered why. _Aren't they afraid that I'll leave?_ His eyes widened slightly as Koenma stepped in, closing the door behind him. Koenma stared at the fire demon for several minutes. Hiei looked at the others, who had fixed their gazes on other parts of the room. _What the hell is going on?!_

Koenma cleared his throat. "You know, Hiei, none of us expected this to happen. Even your file didn't mention anything like this. If you'd managed to succeed, you would've been a case like Yuusuke."

The fire demon scowled, laying back down. "No. I wouldn't be a case like Yuusuke." Koenma shot him a curious look and Hiei clarified with a self-depreciating smirk. "I wouldn't've chosen to come back."

Yuusuke looked up, his eyes angry. "I said the same thing at first." Hiei shrugged.

Koenma sighed. "I'll get to the point, Hiei. You can't die yet. Period. You're important, and if you die now there will be problems."

Hiei frowned at the ceiling for a while. _What the hell is he talking about, important? Problems . . . With the three worlds probably. That means that my next life would probably suck just as badly as this one has . . . Dammit . . ._ Finally, he sighed, feeling even more depressed than he had before. "Go away." He presented them with his back.

The next time he turned around, he was alone and the door was closed. He curled into a ball around his pillow. _Fuck . . . Why can't I ever do anything I want to do?!_ The Forbidden Child buried his face in his pillow and--for the first time in centuries--cried.

* * *

Yuusuke sat down on the floor hard. "What're we going to do with him?"

Koenma frowned. "Nothing. He won't do anything now."

Kurama sighed, leaning against a doorframe. "Maybe, maybe not. He didn't promise not to do anything. And he still needs something to make him want to live. He won't do something he doesn't want to just because of the Reikai. If we don't give him something to do to get his mind off death, he may decide that he doesn't care about Reikai problems. You didn't even tell him why he was important or what problems his death would cause. That's not good enough, Koenma. You should know that."

Koenma sighed. "You're right." He sat down across from Yuusuke. "I don't know what we can do though . . ."

Yuusuke snorted. "And you think _I_ do?! Dammit, Koenma! I don't even know if I can _look_ at him anymore!"

"A-anou . . ." Yukina stepped forward meekly. "Couldn't you have him live as a human? Go to the ningen school like you do?"

Kurama blinked. "That's an idea . . . But how would we pull it off?"

Kuwabara cleared his throat. "I think if two of us could watch him, it would be better. So if we decide to go with that, it should be Sarasaki High."

Kurama nodded. "I agree with that."

Yuusuke leaned back on his elbows. "But how do we keep him from leaving or hurting himself? It would only take a second and either could happen."

Genkai entered from where she had been standing in the doorway. "Create a ward circle around both Yuusuke and Kuwabara of a radius of about a hundred yards, designed to knock Hiei out if he tries to leave it. Also put a ward on him to prevent him from harming himself. And warding his Jagan would be a wise decision as well."

Koenma nodded. "It would be best to ward his Jagan first. I don't have to use an actual ward strip."

"Aa. Hold on a second." The redhead closed his eyes and Felt. "He's asleep . . ."

Koenma nodded. "It should be easy then." He left the room and silence fell until his return a few minutes later. "He didn't even stir . . . While I was in there I also set up the other ward." Koenma sat down and quickly set up a barrier around Yuusuke and another around Kuwabara. "There. It's all taken care of."

Kurama shook his head. "Not yet. Where is Hiei going to stay?"

Kuwabara and Yuusuke exchanged a look and Yuusuke nodded. "With me. My mom wouldn't even notice."

The redhead nodded. "What about school fees, a family name, and ningen clothing?"

Koenma spoke up. "I'll send the money tomorrow and we'll register him as Yuusuke's cousin. Kurama, I'll give you the money for his clothing. A family name . . ."

"Urameshi," Yuusuke stated. "No one will mess with him if he uses that as a family name. I'll register him as Urameshi Hiei."

The others nodded and silence fell. Finally, Kurama sighed. "Hiei's not going to like this at all . . ."

"There's no other choice. Hiei made sure of that." Yuusuke laid back on the floor.

Koenma nodded. "At least this way he'll be around when . . ." The demi-god stopped.

Kuwabara looked at Koenma. "When what?"

The godling coughed discreetly and headed for the door. "Classified. You'll find out when it's time." He left them with their confusion and wonderings.

Yuusuke cursed angrily. "Dammit! I wish we could do _something_!!"

Kurama sighed. "We all do Yuusuke . . . We all do."

* * *

Writing bug bit again. It usually does when I'm sleep deprived. I made Hiei cry. Not a new thing, but I actually felt really bad about it this time . . .


	4. Chapter Four

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Four  
Hiei resisted the pull of wakefulness, not relishing the thought of what the others were going to do with him. _I wonder what they have planned . . ._ There was no way they were going to leave him alone; that much was perfectly clear. _Busybodies . . . I wish they'd leave me alone . . ._ The youkai had dreamed the night before of something strange . . . Something he couldn't remember . . . _I've been able to remember every dream after waking since I got the Jagan . . . I wonder what this means . . ._ Hiei nearly jumped as his thoughts were interrupted by Yuusuke's voice.

"I know you're awake, Hiei. Stop feigning sleep."

_I should have felt him there!_ Hiei chided himself for getting soft as he opened his eyes. "What the hell do you want?" he muttered, annoyed.

"Aren't we cranky today?" Hiei glowered at the youth. Yuusuke just grinned, shoving a large paper bag at the fire demon. "Get dressed. We have stuff to do."

The ningen headed toward the door, apparently expecting Hiei to obey. Hiei scowled. "Fuck off. I'm not doing anything."

Yuusuke turned quickly, all traces of the former grin gone from his features. In fact, he looked angry and determined. "You'll dress willingly or Kuwabara and I will dress you." At Hiei's outraged glower, Yuusuke turned and headed toward the door. "I thought so. I'll be back in five minutes." The bag hit the door as the ningen closed it behind him, and he smirked as he heard a stream of resigned curses. _At least he still has his pride . . ._

* * *

"You're _what_??" Hiei gaped at Yuusuke, pulling at his new jeans absentmindedly.

"We're enrolling you in high school." Yuusuke somehow managed to keep his face innocent of humor, despite the interesting picture staring at him. Hiei was gaping at him in total shock, wearing the new clothes that Kurama had bought with the ningen money Koenma had given him. The black jeans were slightly baggy on Hiei's lean form, and the blue button-up shirt seemed a bit too big, but the clothes seemed to _fit_ Hiei in an entirely different way. "Kuwabara and I are taking you to Sarasaki High and enrolling you as-" Yuusuke paused for dramatic effect "-Urameshi Hiei."

"_What_?!" Hiei's eyes widened to an impossible size. _Please let him be joking . . ._

"Yup. You're my adopted cousin from overseas." Yuusuke grinned. "Even better, you get to stay with me.

"You're joking," Hiei said softly. Yuusuke shook his head, a sickening grin plastered on his face. The fire demon let out a stream of curses, most of which were not in Japanese.

Yuusuke smirked. "I'm quite sure that my ancestors didn't like goats _that_ much."

Hiei glared. "You can't force me!"

Yuusuke immediately became totally serious, startling Hiei. "That's where you're wrong."

The youkai got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. "What do you mean . . .?" He wasn't sure he _wanted_ to know . . .

"Koenma took some precautions to ensure that you don't fight us much. At least, not beyond what we can handle."

Hiei paled as he realized what Yuusuke meant, removing the ward from his Jagan. The third eye remained closed. "What did you do to me?!" The sanjiyan looked panicked.

"Koenma warded you. He bound you against harming yourself, and he set up a one hundred yard parameter around Kuwabara and I. If you violate either, you'll pass out. He warded your Jagan so you wouldn't be able to break the bindings."

_No wonder I couldn't remember the dream . . . or sense Yuusuke . . . I use the Jagan for sensing ki mostly . . ._ Hiei stared at him, then hugged his knees to his chest. "I hate you. I hate all of you." _Damn it. They already got their stupid point across. Why can't they leave me the hell alone now? I can understand the binding, and even the ward on my Jagan . . . but why are they doing everything else??_

"I'm sorry to hear that. Let's go." The youkai glared at Yuusuke defiantly. Yuusuke raised his eyebrows. "You want me to get Kuwabara to carry you?"

_I have no control over any of this . . . None at all . . . They can force me to do anything, and my resistance is futile. Just like . . . before . . ._ He forced the memories away. "Bastard," Hiei muttered, getting to his feet.

"Behave." The fire demon shot Yuusuke a disgusted look, which the ningen ignored. "You're going to stay nice and quiet while I register you."

"And if I don't?" The words were casual. _This is the only thing I can do . . . The little control I have over my life now is in rebelling . . . K'so . . ._

Yuusuke barely glanced at him. "Considering that you're warded . . . There isn't much you can do. I could always ask Koenma to make you mute if you really want to resist . . ." _He probably wouldn't, but Hiei doesn't need to know that._ The look on Hiei's face assured him that the sanjiyan would not be calling his bluff, which relieved Yuusuke. _I really don't want to fight him. I just have to do what's best for him even if he doesn't like it._

_This isn't fair . . . I have absolutely no control anymore. Don't they know that this is going to make me wish for death even more?_ A small part of his mind whispered back. _We already tried to kill ourself. They care, and this is how they're showing it . . . Perhaps there is a purpose in this._ Hiei ignored it.

"Come on. Let's go get you registered." Yuusuke's happy-go-lucky expression returned, and Hiei realized that it was more of a mask than an actual expression, just like the ningen's tough-guy look.

"You're full of shit, Yuusuke," Hiei muttered, ignoring the curious glance from Yuusuke. The fire demon stalked past him and outside. "There's no point in me fighting. You took control. I might as well be dead."

Yuusuke followed him, a worried expression on his face. Hiei silently congratulated himself on forcing the mask off the ningen. "What do you mean?"

"That's none of your damned business, _ningen_." A shocked look crossed Yuusuke's face, and Hiei mused to himself. _Irking him should be fun . . . Something that I can control--control that they can't take from me._

But then Yuusuke smiled. "You know, Hiei, someone once told me that people need friends the most when they deserve them the least. It's not going to work, trying to piss me off. I'm your _friend_ and I'm trying to help you. That's not going to stop until you don't need help anymore."

Hiei glowered at him. "I don't want or need friends. Especially not ones that meddle into my affairs and try to control my life." The fire demon crossed his arms. "Help isn't the word I'd use, because this bull shit isn't helping me at all."

Yuusuke frowned. _It's not . . . yet. Hopefully it will. We're just trying to give you a new start, Hiei, to try to make up for all the bad shit that's happened in your life so far._ The ningen stayed silent though. _He'll understand it on his own soon enough._ They continued walking in silence toward the school, where Kuwabara was supposed to meet them.

* * *

"Urameshi Yuusuke!"

Yuusuke sighed as he heard the familiar voice of Takenaka. They had just met with Kuwabara. "I'll be right back. Gotta talk to Takenaka . . ." The ningen trotted toward the hefty instructor. "What?"

"Why were you not in school today? You realize the negative impact that has on your grades?"

"There was a family issue. One that I need to discuss with you." The teacher looked surprised. Yuusuke pointed at Hiei. "That's my distant adopted cousin, Hiei. He was adopted when he was a baby. His parents died in a car accident last week while they were on vacation in Paris, and we've taken him in. I wanted to get him enrolled here because he's been suicidal since his parents' deaths, and I need to be able to watch him. Could I do that?"

Takenaka looked toward Hiei, who was ignoring Kuwabara's attempts to talk to him. "The poor boy! Of course you can enroll him here. We'll just have his records transferred from his old school . . ."

Yuusuke grinned sheepishly. "That's the other problem. He's been home schooled his entire life."

"No problem. We'll just have him take some standardized tests to check his placement." Takenaka gave Yuusuke a meaningful glance. "Though, I know _some_ people who wouldn't be placed in their current grade if they took them."

Yuusuke chuckled good-naturedly. "Yeah, but I'm not taking those tests. Hiei is." _Damn, I hope Hiei can do decently . . . I don't even know if he can write Japanese . . ._

Takenaka smiled. "Let's get him set up taking those tests now, since school just let out. I'll supervise and after the tests we can enroll him."

"Sure," Yuusuke agreed quickly. "Oi, Takenaka?" The man glanced at him. "Please don't mention what I told you to Hiei. He's rather sensitive about it." _Hiei would kill me, ward or no ward . . ._

Takenaka nodded understandingly. "Of course." Together, they headed toward Kuwabara and Hiei.

* * *

Actually, my muse did come back for this fic, so I will be writing more. I know what I'm doing, but I'm not going to write it yet. I'm actually going to write the next chapter to Flux before someone rises up and slays me. *cough* Sorry, a bit too much D&D for me. And the fic shall go on!


	5. Chapter Five

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Five  
_I should have found out before dragging him here! Stupid!_ Yuusuke paced up and down the hall for nearly the millionth time since Takenaka had taken Hiei into the empty classroom to take the tests. At first, he'd settled for biting his nails, but they were worn to nubs. The only other non-violent stress reliever he could think of was pacing, and he was doing so furiously and had been for nearly half an hour.

Kuwabara scowled at the boy that was stalking up and down the hall. _He's driving me insane!_ "Urameshi, calm the hell down! You're making me dizzy with that damned pacing!"

"I can't help it!" Yuusuke hissed, wheeling to glare at the orange-haired ningen. "I don't even know if he knows how to read or write!"

"_Nani?!_ You don't? Teme . . ." Kuwabara sighed, calming as he realized that there was really no other alternative. _Hell . . . I'd prolly be doing the same thing . . . Though Hiei'd kill me first._ "I dunno what to say, Urameshi. Not much we can do."

Yuusuke growled. "We can't exactly watch him if he's placed in primary school, can we? Plus it'd look damned suspicious to Takenaka. I told him that Hiei's been home-schooled so he wouldn't try to transfer records from somewhere. If Hiei can't even _read_, Takenaka's gonna know I'm lying . . ."

Kuwabara cursed under his breath. His friend was right. _Chikusho . . . Isn't there anything we can do . . .?_ Then he sighed. _There's nothing we can do right now . . ._ "We'll have to wait for now, Urameshi. We'll deal with that crap if it happens. And stop the damned pacing. It's getting on my nerves, and it's not gonna help anything anyway!"

_Shit . . . I'm already a liar in the rest of the school's eyes . . . Takenaka's the only one who even minutely trusts me. But there's nothing we can do for now. Kuwabara's right . . ._ But he couldn't banish the thoughts and kept getting the nearly irresistible urge to fidget. The raven-haired boy sighed explosively. "Then what the heck are we supposed to do while we're waiting? I can't just sit here!"

Kuwabara smirked, pulling a deck of cards from his pocket. "Cards?" Yuusuke grinned. Card decks were technically banned from school, but why would delinquents be concerned with that? After all, Yuusuke wore a green uniform to school rather than a navy one, and he got away with it. They began to play. Their concern over their suicidal friend lingered, but the game helped to temporarily take their minds off it. However, both of them subconsciously devoted half of their attention to the door, waiting for news even as they erased their boredom and thus accelerated time. At least, from their point of view.

After a while, the door opened and Hiei stepped out, his face expressionless. The fire demon crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Yuusuke blandly. "He wants to see you."

_Crap . . . I really hope Hiei did okay . . . Must think up excuse, just in case . . ._ Yuusuke winced slightly. "How do you think you did?" The question had a hopeful quality to it. Hiei shot him a 'how-the-fuck-should-_I_-know' glare, then leaned against the wall with an annoyed expression on his face. Yuusuke shared a worried look with Kuwabara, then walked through the door, forcing his expression into a casual grin. The door closed loudly behind him, the sound amplified by both the near-emptiness of the room and his nervousness, making him jump. He glanced at Takenaka.

The teacher smiled. "You look uncomfortable. Sit down, Yuusuke. I'm just looking this over."

_That's exactly what I'm uncomfortable about . . ._ Yuusuke sat, waiting impatiently. After about thirty seconds, he began chewing on a cuticle. _Damn . . . I haven't been this nervous since Keiko nearly missed resurrecting me! It's going to take a month for my nails to get back to normal after this . . ._ Takenaka finally looked up, his face giving nothing away. The teen grinned nervously. "So what's the news, Takenaka . . . sensei (1)?" He added the formality almost as an afterthought. _Politeness should count for something, right?_

Takenaka smiled gently, seeming to sense Yuusuke's nervousness. "Your cousin is a very intelligent individual, Yuusuke." The teen let a long breath out with a 'whoosh,' realizing only just then that he'd been holding it. "In fact, he ranked in your grade in quite a few subjects. In English, he ranked far above, which is surprising." Yuusuke blinked. Hiei knew English? "In fact, the only subject he seemed to have a problem with was mathematics."

"I know someone who can tutor him in that." Yuusuke grinned.

His sensei raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you should utilize that resource as well, young man." Yuusuke rolled his eyes. The man frowned. "Why were you so worried?"

"Uh . . ." Yuusuke's eyes widened and he thought quickly, then remembered the excuse he'd come up with right before he'd come in the room. He gave a fake but real-sounding sigh as he began to spin his yarn. "Hiei's very depressed, Takenaka-sensei. He doesn't want to go to school. He'd rather continue to be home-schooled. But you know my mom . . . She's passed out drunk half the time, and she's no teacher. So he has to go to school." The ningen let out another fake sigh. "Hiei's not happy with that. So there was a chance that he would fake stupidity to try to get out of going to school."

Takenaka frowned slightly. "The boy is _that_ depressed? What exactly happened, Yuusuke?"

_K'so . . ._ Yuusuke stalled for time to think. "I don't know if I should say, sir. Hiei deserves _some_ privacy . . ."

"Yuusuke, I need to know at least some of your cousin's background."

Yuusuke sighed, this time for real. _More lies . . . Is this how Kurama feels? I'm starting to feel like even I can't trust myself . . ._ "Hiei was adopted from America at about the age of five. He'd been abused. My aunt and uncle adopted him and brought him here. It took a long time for him to warm up to them, and he really cared deeply for them . . . He still cares about them. He was really anti-social and moody because of the abuse, so they kept him out of school and home-schooled him until they thought he was ready to go to a public school. But when they sent him, he reacted badly, so they decided to keep him home-schooled." Yuusuke silently rejoiced as Takenaka nodded understandingly. _I'm gonna pull it off! Improvisation kicks ass!_ "But now he's got no choice, and he's suicidal anyway, so he needs someone besides my mom watching over him since she's pretty useless. I got the job, so he has to attend school with me."

Takenaka nodded understandingly. "With these scores, I could put him in your class. He's in that level, and that way you can watch over him instead of worrying over him from a different room. Your grades are bad _enough_, Urameshi Yuusuke. You don't need that kind of stress to add to them." The man's eyes crinkled in amusement. "Besides . . . He might actually help to get your grades up."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Yuusuke rolled his eyes. _Thank Enma! He bought it! Now I just have to tell the others the story and try to get Hiei past Mom._ The ningen's eyes widened. _K'so!_ "Takenaka, I gotta go! I have stuff to do!" He headed toward the door. "When do you want him to start?"

"Today is Friday. We'll start him Monday. Should give you time to get things together."

_Today's Friday? Damn . . . This whole week was pretty much spent worrying over Hiei . . ._ The door closed behind him as he stepped into the hallway. Hiei was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, looking extremely annoyed. Yuusuke could almost see his eyebrow wanting to twitch. Kuwabara was pouting from his seat. "Did you guys get into an argument again?"

Kuwabara scowled in Hiei's direction. "The shrimp's being a jerk, as usual."

Hiei remained in the same position, keeping his eyes closed, and bared his teeth. "You will stay away from her or I'll kill you. Koenma can't do much if I do."

_Fighting about Yukina . . . I don't even want to know how they got on that subject . . ._ Yuusuke winced. Hiei was right. Punishment for something like that, killing a Reikai Tantei, was death. And Koenma didn't want Hiei dead. "Would you two stop being childish? Hiei, maybe you should ask your sister what _she_ wants before you go into protective mode. Maybe she _wants_ the lughead around, though I can't imagine why." Hiei snorted, but seem to relax slightly.

Kuwabara scowled. "I am _not_ a lughead." His scowl deepened as Hiei smirked derogatively. "I don't know why _you_ had to be her brother."

Hiei opened his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking away. "I don't know either," he murmured. "I certainly don't deserve to be." His tone was full of self-contempt, making both Yuusuke and Kuwabara wince.

The two exchanged a look. Hiei was definitely very depressed and filled with self-hatred, and they needed to figure out a way to reverse both.

_Damn, this is gonna be really difficult. And if Koenma didn't have some sort of special agenda that included Hiei . . . we wouldn't be able to do anything, and Hiei would have just run off and killed himself at the first opportunity . . ._ He pushed away his curiosity at Koenma's secret reasoning. "Let's go. I need to talk to my mom while she's still drunk and susceptible to convincing." Yuusuke stepped forward, placing a hand on Hiei's shoulder. He was quickly flipped over the fire demon, and found himself on the floor, looking at Hiei upside down. "What was that for?!"

"Don't touch me." The fire demon was glowering disdainfully at the raven-haired ningen, but in the back of his eyes was a strange look that Yuusuke wasn't able to identify before Hiei turned away.

"Seesh! Fine. You coulda warned me!" Yuusuke picked himself up and began to walk down the hall, more worried than annoyed. _What was that look just now . . .? It looked like . . . fear . . . Is Hiei afraid of me?? And if he is . . . why . . .?_

Kuwabara sighed. "I'm gonna have to get going. Shizuru's expecting me, and I'm already late." Yuusuke nodded and Hiei pointedly ignored him. "If I don't see you guys this weekend, it'll be Monday at school." _There's no way I'm gonna miss that . . . Besides, Urameshi's probably going to need help watching Hiei . . ._ He waved and made his departure, silently wishing Yuusuke luck as he left and smiling as Yuusuke acknowledged it with a nod.

They walked in silence for a while. Then Hiei spoke, his voice cold. "You're an idiot." Yuusuke glared at the fire demon. "You don't know a damned thing about me, not even if I could read, and you still brought me here." The youkai smirked slightly. "You two were whining too loudly in the hall. Another few octaves, and the ningen would have heard." Hiei snorted. "It would have been simple to fake illiteracy."

_He's toying with me . . .?_ Yuusuke scowled. _I'm starting to like him better when he's quiet . . ._ "They why didn't you?"

Hiei smirked again. "Because you worried over nothing, and almost blew your cover. If I'd failed, like you obviously expected, you would have taken it in stride. This incident has disturbed you, and you now realize that you know very little about me."

Yuusuke felt his eyebrow twitch as the level of annoyance he was feeling went up significantly. With conscious effort, he forced himself to calm down, then smiled. "Well, since you heard everything I said, I guess there's no need to tell you what I said to Takenaka." Hiei scowled, and Yuusuke grinned. "Good. Now we just have to get you past my mom and figure out where you're gonna sleep. My house is a bit of a mess, just to warn you."

_He expects me to live with him??_ Hiei stopped. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You have two choices Hiei." Yuusuke paused until Hiei looked at him reluctantly. "You can either walk on your own, or I can carry you." The fire demon seethed, but began walking again. _You just gotta know what to say . . ._

"Yuuuuusuke!" Boton came into view, dressed in jeans, a black shirt, and a leather jacket. She was running rather than flying. "Yuuusuke!"

_What's Boton doing here . . .?_ Yuusuke blinked. _K'so . . . I hope it's not another mission . . . There's no way we can let Hiei go to battle if he's suicidal . . ._ He shot the girl a cautious smile. "What's up, Boton?"

Boton caught the meaning behind the look. "No, it's not another mission." She grinned. "I just wanted to tell you that Koenma took what you told Takenaka and took care of your mom for you. She's expecting you guys."

Yuusuke's eyes widened. "Koenma _brainwashed_ my mom?!" He was aware that Hiei was snickering, but he didn't care. _Dammit! I knew we needed to do something, but I didn't want her brainwashed!_

Boton's smiled faltered. "Anou . . . We had to . . ." She gave Yuusuke a 'please-don't-kill-the-messenger' grin. "Besides, we can undo it when this is all over . . ."

_Yeah, that'd be fine and dandy if Hiei's ever going to let this be over . . ._ Yuusuke sulked. _This is bullshit._ He sighed. _It's not fair to blame this on Hiei. Something's obviously hurt him . . . I just need to find out what . . ._ "Alright then. There wasn't much of a choice. I just don't have to like this."

"Okay . . . I'm gonna go report back to Koenma then." She grinned, directing the look at Hiei. "Have fun in school, Hiei! Mou . . . I wish I could go too. It looks like so much fun, and you get to wear those kawaii (2) uniforms. Oh, well. Ja matta!" She pulled her oar from hammerspace and flew off.

Yuusuke sighed, then smirked as he saw the annoyed look on Hiei's face. _Not laughing anymore, are we, Hiei?_ The fire demon noticed the smirk and glowered. "Well . . . Let's go. Like Boton said, your obasan (3) is waiting." The ningen let out a long-suffering as Hiei snarled at him. _This is going to be interesting . . ._ He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not . . .

* * *

I was sitting in math going over this while the instructor was going over quadratic equations (boring). I was a bit miffed because this chapter was like 7 pages long and was gonna be 8 with corrections. Got to the end and was like, "Holy crap! That's the end of a chapter!" I thought I was gonna have to write more, because I was typing part of it before class, noticed the time, and stopped and printed it out. So I get to finish this up, run it through spell-check, and post it. I printed this chapter and edited it _four_ times, for the record. That's why my pet peeve is fics that have major spelling and grammar errors--I take the time to go through mine, and I don't get why other people neglect to bother.

(1) Sensei means teacher. Like if you have a teacher who's name is Brown, it would be Brown-sensei.

(2) Kawaii means cute.

(3) Obasan is aunt. (Grandmother is obaasan, for those who might be a bit confused by that.)

Reply to Muffin Man: Koenma had no way to catch Hiei to put wards on him when Hiei and Yuusuke were enemies. Hiei was asleep and (to a certain extent) weaker because of his recent suicide attempt. Therefore, Koenma was able to get close enough and had the opportunity to ward him.


	6. Chapter Six

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Six  
Yuusuke scowled as he read the note that Atsuko has left. "She went out drinking. You'd think . . ." The boy sighed. "Well, I might as well show you around."

"Whatever."

A vein in Yuusuke's forehead twitched. He'd had about enough of Hiei for the day. "Forget it then. Find your own damned way around." He winced as he slammed the front door a little harder than he'd planned. _Lost my temper . . . I shouldn't have said that. If anything, Hiei needs someone to ignore him acting out right now._ He locked the door and took off his shoes, slipping them into the geta-bako [1]. "Take yours off too before you step out of the genkan [2]. And put them in the geta-bako."

He padded to his room, wondering vaguely where Hiei was going to sleep, then stopped short as the door, gaping. "What the hell . . .?!" His bed had been replaced by two futons. _Damnit! I liked that bed . . ._ He grabbed a few manga [3] and stalked to the living room to vegetate on the couch. He frowned as he saw that Hiei was curled in a chair near the window. _Is he asleep . . .?_ Yuusuke put his manga books down on the arm of the sofa and looked at the fire demon. "If you're tired there's a futon for you in my room." He frowned as Hiei shrugged. "It's not healthy to sleep sitting up."

"And how would you know if you never go to school?" Hiei's voice was cutting, with an annoying disdainful undertone.

Yuusuke glared at him. "You don't have to go to school to be educated," he shot back. "_You_'ve never been to school and you know quite a bit."

"Whatever."

Yuusuke sighed and flopped onto the couch, opening one of the manga and preparing to engross himself in it, prepared to ignore the brooding demon. He swore as the phone rang, slamming the book on the table and scowling as Hiei smirked. _Damnit! Why won't anyone let me relax?!_ "Moshi moshi."

"You sound annoyed. I take it he's being difficult?"

"Kurama!" Yuusuke sighed. "Very. What's up?"

"I was thinking that we could get Hiei his school uniform tomorrow. I'm free at one."

Yuusuke grinned. "Sounds good to me." They made plans and hung up, leaving the boy feeling much more relaxed than he had. "We're going with Kurama to get your school uniform tomorrow, Hiei."

"_Hn_." The smirk disappeared from Hiei's features, replaced by an annoyed scowl.

"Glad you're excited." The fire demon turned a rather venomous glower on Yuusuke, but the boy just smirked. He couldn't help but feel somewhat vindicated after having to deal with Hiei for as long as he had, despite the fact that he was supposed to be nice and somewhat reassuring. _I'm starting to think that it may have been better if we'd had Kurama take care of him . . ._ But it was too late to change things. Yuusuke shrugged mentally and grabbed his manga from the table, quickly losing himself in it.

* * *

Several hours passed before Yuusuke glanced at the clock, nearly done with the last manga from the stack he'd brought out. _K'so . . . Mom should be home soon. I should get something out to eat._ He noticed as he got up that Hiei was asleep, and grinned slightly. At least the little youkai wouldn't bother him while he was trying to get dinner ready.

He left the room quietly and went to the kitchen, rummaging through nearly-empty cabinets. The boy scowled. Just about the only thing to eat was instant ramen. He mulled over it for a while, checking the rather bare refrigerator before deciding to cook it. If it was cold by the time Atsuko got in, too bad. It was likely she'd be too drunk to notice anyway. He scrounged the cupboards for something to go with it, his eyes settling on the peanut butter on the shelf. Yuusuke grinned and got it out, grabbing the bread and jam from the refrigerator. _Ramen and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches it is._

The meal was prepared within ten minutes. Yuusuke sighed. That meant that he had to wake Hiei. _As if dealing with him today hasn't been difficult enough . . ._ He walked back into the living room, not bothering to cross the room. "Oi, Hiei! Dinner's ready."

The fire demon's eyes didn't open, but a scowl crossed his face. "And why would I care about that?"

Yuusuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. He had reached the end of his patience. "Because you're going to get your ass into the kitchen and eat it or I'll drag you in there and stuff it down your throat." Hiei's eyes opened, the crimson orbs alighting on the boy, a considering look in them. Yuusuke had had enough. "Try me." The snarl was filled with the promise that he would do _exactly_ what he'd threatened if Hiei didn't cooperate.

The crimson eyes widened, and Hiei got up and crossed the room, cringing ever-so-slightly as he passed Yuusuke. The ningen winced. He hadn't wanted to scare Hiei . . . _K'so . . . I keep doing everything wrong . . ._ The last thing Hiei needed right now was for someone to intimidate him like Yuusuke had just done. He cursed himself silently, then followed Hiei into the kitchen and served him a bowl of ramen. "Take as many sandwiches as you'd like, Hiei."

Hiei was silent for a while, and he just sat, staring at the cooling noodles. "I'm not hungry," he whispered, his voice soft.

Yuusuke frowned and sat down with his bowl of soup. "Hiei, you need to eat. I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of thing you like to eat, but it's all there is." The fire demon didn't reply, but tore a piece from his sandwich and ate it. Yuusuke sighed softly. "I'm sorry I lost my temper, Hiei, but you don't need to push my buttons. I'm trying to help you."

The youkai looked at him, his eyes hollow and tired. "Then leave me alone." Hiei lowered his eyes and began to eat.

Yuusuke didn't reply. _He knows I can't leave him alone. It's my job to take care of him now . . . If we'd left him alone, he'd be dead._ He kept his thoughts to himself, knowing that anything he said would be more detrimental than helpful. Instead, he concentrated on eating, watching the food before Hiei disappear. When the fire demon's plates were empty, the boy served him more ramen and another sandwich, bracing himself for an argument. Yuusuke was surprised when Hiei didn't even look up, but started on the second serving without a word.

They had almost finished eating when Atsuko stumbled through the door. After struggling with her shoes for a few minutes, the woman wobbled into the kitchen, obviously tipsy. "'Lo, Yuu-chan, er . . ." She paused, obviously not remembering the name of her 'nephew'.

"Hiei. And don't call me Yuu-chan," Yuusuke huffed. "You hungry, Mom?" She sat and he took that as a yes and served her. "I thought you'd be home this afternoon, Mom."

"'Che! What, you expect me to be back here when I need to go out and *hic* remember my brother properly?" Hiei pushed away from the table and left the room at her words, a strange expression on his face.

Yuusuke blinked in shock. _What the hell is up with him? He didn't **really** lose a mother . . ._ Or had he? _I have no idea what's going on with him. For now, I guess I just need to play along._ "Mom! Be more prudent! Geez!" He hurried after Hiei. The fire demon was sitting in the chair by the window, his legs curled to his chest. He was gazing out the window, his eyes containing a very faraway look. "Hiei . . .? Are you okay?"

His friend blinked, then glared, not shifting his gaze from the window. "What the hell do you care?"

Yuusuke was taken aback. "What the hell do you mean, what do I care? You're my _friend_! Of course I care."

"I'm not going to argue with you. Just leave me the hell alone."

"Hiei . . . You know I can't do that."

Hiei stood, finally turning away from the window. "Why? Because of this?" He yanked his sleeves up, revealing the scars that stood out against his skin. The fire demon stared at the white blemishes in his skin for a few minutes. "You know, I could've been happy now. I could've been on my way to a better life. But because of _you_ and that meddling brat, I'm stuck here causing more problems for everyone." Hiei shifted his accusing gaze to Yuusuke. "Fuck you. Fuck you, Kurama and Koenma for your damned meddling." The youkai brushed past the shocked teen. "I wish you'd managed to kill me when I stole the sword. Maybe _then_ I wouldn't be ruining everyone's lives." He stalked to Yuusuke's bedroom and practically slammed the door shut behind him.

Yuusuke gritted his teeth in frustration, balling his hand into a fist. He wanted to punch something, but nothing in the apartment would be able to withstand the force he would end up using--and a trip downstairs to punch a hole in the sidewalk wouldn't be worth the trip back up. The teen took a few deep breaths to calm down, then sank on the sofa, mental exhaustion from the day falling on him. _If he's going to be like this every day, I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stand it . . ._ He winced as he heard his mother crying in the kitchen for her 'aniki' [4]. _That's why Hiei left the kitchen, and what he meant by 'causing more problems' . . . K'so. This is turning into one big mess. I need to figure out what to do, and Kurama's the best person I know to go to for advice. But . . . how am I supposed to talk to Kurama alone about it . . .? Hiei's bound to me._ He blinked, a light grin lighting up his face. _He's bound to Kuwabara too! I can have Kuwabara watch him for a while. That way I can talk to Kurama._ The thought made him feel a bit better.

The front door slammed and he scowled. Atsuko had gone out again--probably to drown her sorrows in alcohol. _Sorrows that didn't exist until today. K'so . . ._ Yuusuke sighed and picked up his manga from the table and locked the front door, then headed for the bedroom. He'd had enough for the day, and he was going to get some sleep so he could deal with tomorrow. Gods help Hiei if he wanted to fight him. The youth wondered if Koenma had bothered to leave clothes for Hiei to sleep in, then shrugged. The fire demon could borrow something of his for the night. All he cared about right now was getting to bed.

* * *

[1] Shoe cupboard. In Japan, it is customary to remove one's shoes in the genkan, before entering the rest of the house. Anything else is considered rude. (Thus the reason for Keiko throwing off her shoes before running to kiss Yuusuke.) There's a possibility that the Urameshi's would not have a geta-bako, but I'm assuming they would to keep Atsuko from tripping on shoes when she comes in drunk.

[2] An entranceway to a home/apartment. It's considered important because it's the "face" of the house. Usually, one must step up from the genkan to enter the hallway beyond it. Also, the smaller the genkan, the lower the step.

[3] Comic books.

[4] Older brother.

This was going to be a bit longer, but I'm about to go on 'vacation' for break, and I won't have access to a computer to write more. I wanted to leave something for you guys, so this is what you get. Next you'll get the shopping trip, and then perhaps the first day of school for Hiei-chan. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and everyone have a great holiday! Happy Whatever-You-Happen-to-Celebrate.


	7. Chapter Seven

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Seven  
Yuusuke woke early the next morning, sitting up, then flinching a bit as he found himself at a lower level than he usually did when he awoke. Then he remembered. _Stupid futon._ The teen sighed and lay back, wondering what the day had in store. He sincerely hoped that Hiei wasn't going to be as difficult as he had been, but that was like asking pigs to fly. He, fortunately, hadn't had any problems with the fire demon after Atsuko had left. When he'd gotten to his bedroom, Hiei was already curled up on the futon closest to the window, either asleep of pretending to be. Yuusuke hadn't bothered him.

The teen glanced at the clock, blinking as he noticed the time. _Noon? Damn, we're supposed to meet Kurama in an hour._ He glanced over at Hiei's futon, sitting up sharply as he noticed that it was empty. _Where . . .?_ Then he noticed the shadow on the futon and looked up at the window. The fire demon was perched on the windowsill--curled in the frame in a way that somehow made sitting on a sharp corner of wood look comfortable--asleep. "Hiei?" The boy's eyes snapped open, landing on Yuusuke immediately. "We're supposed to meet Kurama in an hour." The youkai shrugged. "Why are you up there?"

"None of your business."

Yuusuke scowled, then shrugged. It was, after all, not his business. He got up and grabbed some clothes from the closet. "If you're hungry, you can go rummage in the kitchen to see if we have anything. Otherwise, we'll get something while we're out." The teen went to the bathroom to change. He headed for the kitchen, frowning as he realized that Hiei wasn't in there. A glance around the living room revealed that Hiei was sitting, as he had the night before, in a chair next to the window, one knee drawn up with his chin resting on it as he looked out at the city. "Hiei, aren't you hungry?" The fire demon shook his head, not tearing his gaze from the window. "All right, then. We'll get something later." Hiei didn't move. "C'mon, Hiei. We're going to be late if we don't leave soon."

As the boy stood, Yuusuke cursed. Hiei was wearing his usual clothes, including the ratty-looking tank top. _We're going to have to take public transportation, and those wards . . ._ "You're going to have to change back into the clothes from yesterday. We'll be getting you more clothes today." Hiei said nothing. He went back into the bedroom, returning a few moments later in the jeans and shirt he'd worn the day before. "Good. Let's go." He locked the door behind them, then led Hiei in the direction of the subway. _This is going to be interesting . . ._

* * *

Yuusuke sighed in relief as he saw Kurama waiting for them at the cafe they'd decided to meet at. The train ride had been extremely crowded and less than pleasant for both Hiei and Yuusuke. They had been forced to stand, packed closely with other people. Hiei was too short to reach something to hold onto and had ended up being bumped around for most of the trip. The fire demon had been pale nearly the entire time, practically hyperventilating every time the train lurched to a stop and people pressed harder against them, making room for those shifting to get out. He'd calmed down slightly when a seat had opened up nearby and he'd been lucky enough to grab it, but he had only completely returned to normal after they'd left the train and exited the packed subway.

Yuusuke was left wondering about his reaction. _Claustrophobia?_ [1] _Hiei?_ But it made a lot of sense once he put the pieces together--Hiei sleeping on the windowsill rather than the futon and him sitting near the window in the living room. He ran through previous memories, noting that Hiei almost always stood by a door or window. _That must be it._ He'd have to ask the fire demon later, and if he was right he was going to go to Koenma and demand real beds so Hiei would be nearly level to the window. _Hell, we're supposed to be making him feel better._ He would try to omit Hiei's claustrophobia when he spoke to the demi-god. It was none of Koenma's business, and Hiei deserved at least _some_ privacy.

Hiei noticeably stiffened at the sight of Kurama, and Yuusuke frowned, mentally filing the reaction away for later analysis. Kurama, for his part, smiled as he saw them. "Konnichi wa! Are you two hungry?"

"Yes. We haven't eaten yet," Yuusuke replied as Hiei shrugged. They sat down at the table 

"Well, they have good food here, and it's not too expensive, so we can eat here."

"That's fine with me. Hiei?" The fire demon shrugged again, not looking at either of them. "Good. Anything you can recommend, Kurama?"

The redhead grinned. "Everything I've tried has been really good. Just pick what you like. Just remember, it's all American food."

Yuusuke scanned the menu, frowning as Hiei ignored his. "Hiei, you're going to eat something. Choose something you want." The sanjiyan [2] scowled and grabbed his menu, looking it over. Yuusuke returned his attention to his own, quickly deciding on the club sandwich. A waiter hurried over as he set down his menu, and Yuusuke ordered it and a lemonade, blinking as Hiei unhesitatingly ordered the same thing.

While waiting for the food to arrive, Yuusuke and Kurama made small talk. Hiei ignored both of them, fixing his gaze on the ground and sipping at his lemonade when it came. When their food came, they ate quickly, then paid and left.

* * *

Yuusuke shifted in the chair, sighing in annoyance as he watched Kurama try to convince Hiei to try on a red shirt. The fire demon had agreed to mostly black items, allowing a few blue articles into the mix.

"Come on, Hiei! It'd look good on you!"

Yuusuke grinned slightly as Hiei grabbed the shirt from Kurama and stalked toward the dressing room, evidently sick of arguing. The boy exited the dressing room a few moments later tossing the red shirt on the 'acceptable' pile, obviously not wanting to stay in the dressing room very long. _Claustrophobia._

Kurama grinned, holding up another shirt. "How about-"

"No. I'm not trying on anything else. Buy these." Hiei sat down in the chair next to Yuusuke, his expression revealing that trying to get him to move would prove fruitless unless they were leaving.

_My bladder's going to burst . . ._ Yuusuke stood and shoved the clothes into Kurama's arms. "I'll be back in a minute."

The redhead blinked. "Where're you going?"

"Restroom. Just sit down and wait for me. I don't want to have to look all over the store for you two." He was extremely glad that the restroom was near the dressing rooms. _I hate shopping . . . I always get dragged into it._ Yuusuke scowled. No matter how small a shopping trip was supposed to be, it always grew to mammoth proportions. It was annoying. The teen washed his hands, sighing. And this was buying Hiei an entire wardrobe. _This sucks . . . It's the shopping trip that never ends._ They still had to get Hiei a school uniform and shoes.

Yuusuke exited the bathroom and headed down the hallway toward the dressing rooms. He paused as he was about to round the corner as he heard his friends discussing something. It occurred to him that Hiei may have been acting strangely around Kurama because they needed to talk about something. _I don't want to interrupt them._ He paused as he overheard a snippet of the conversation, freezing in surprise.

"-because I don't love you? Is that why you tried to kill yourself? I didn't want to say anything around the others, but I need to know . . ." _Kurama . . . What the hell is going on?_ Yuusuke was hesitant to eavesdrop, but there was no way that he could leave, having heard that.

* * *

Hiei eyed Kurama as the fox sat next to him, made uncomfortable by the proximity. _It was hard enough when he . . . But then he had to be the one to find me. Fuck . . ._ It had been an insult added to injury, Kurama pretending to care after . . . _And the comment about the shirt . . ._

"Hiei . . . There's something I want to ask you." The fire demon gave the redhead a wary look. "Are you depressed because I don't love you? Is that why you tried to kill yourself?" Hiei looked away, and Kurama frowned. "I didn't want to say anything around the others, but I need to know . . ."

_Why does he bring this up now?_ As much as he didn't want to admit it, Kurama's rejection had hurt badly. It had taken him so long to gain the courage to tell him he returned his feelings, and then it had turned out that no feelings had existed in the first place. He wasn't good enough for anything but the youko's taunting flirting. He felt that he had been led on and used, and that had wounded him deeply and humiliated him.

Hiei was silent for several seconds, and the redhead sighed, evidently thinking he wasn't going to answer. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but-"

"I would be lying if I said it wasn't." Kurama stiffened. "But I'd also be lying if I said you were solely responsible." Kurama looked at him in confusion and Hiei smiled slightly, the look not reaching his eyes. "Complicated, ne?" The fire demon looked away, the false smile dropping from his face. "But I guess that's what my life is."

"Hiei . . . I . . ." Kurama's green eyes were filled with the one thing Hiei couldn't stand to see--pity. He felt as humiliated as he had when the fox had rejected him.

Muted emotional pain flashed over the Jaganshi's face before Hiei replaced it with an emotionless mask. "You don't understand. That's fine. No one does." He drew his knees to his chest, then continued to speak in a level, unemotional voice. "You should have known, Kurama. You were always flirting, and still are if that stupid comment about the shirt is any indication. Hell, you even _propositioned_ me. Maybe it was all joking--some youko game--but I guess it's my fault for hoping that it wasn't, for trusting in you." Hiei's mask wavered for a few seconds, close to breaking, and his voice mirrored it. "I don't want to discuss this. Not now, not ever. Just forget it ever happened."

Hiei . . . I'm sorry."

"Shut up."

* * *

He had heard enough. _Hiei . . . You certainly are complicated. You weren't lying about that._ Yuusuke tip-toed back to the bathroom, then walked back down the hall, yawning rather loudly. His remorse for eavesdropping was surpassed by his sympathy for Hiei. _At least now I know . . ._ He rounded the corner to see Kurama standing, a smile on his face. _A fake smile,_ he noted.

"Shall we check out now? Then we can go get shoes and Hiei's school uniform."

Yuusuke groaned. "I hate shopping."

Hiei stood, not looking at either of them. "Just get this over with."

Yuusuke winced inwardly. It was going to be a long shopping trip . . . Too long.

* * *

[1] The thought that Hiei is claustrophobic is an idea that Hikari Nanase came up with. I'm just borrowing it. All credit for that goes to her.

[2] I was yelled at by someone for referring to Hiei as a sanjiyan. Let me inform everyone now that I did _not_ mean saiyan-jin or saiyin. It is not a DBZ reference. From what I've been told, sanjiyan is used to refer to a three-eyed demon. I got it from an old YYH fic called "Shadows and Lies" by Kristen Huntsman and Sionna Klassen. Also, if anyone has ever watched 3x3 Eyes, the three-eyed demons in there are called 'sanjiyan', and Pai's three-eyed form is known as Sanjiyan. Therefore, the term sanjiyan is accurate when referring to Hiei.

I want to warn people here and now that the next several chapters are probably not going to be very nice. I think this fic is destined to be pure angst.

Also, I'd like to remind everyone of Green Grapes and Lemonade: A Yu Yu Hakusho Yaoi Fanfiction Contest, which can be found http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/grapesnlemons/  
I'm hoping that more people will submit their work to it. Just make sure your fic meets requirements and read the rules before submitting. Arigatou!


	8. Chapter Eight

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Eight  
Yuusuke sighed in relief as they left the shoe store, which was their last stop. He had been surprised to see that Hiei's feet were extremely small--only size five--and it had taken a long time to find two pairs of black shoes that would fit them. Despite that, it was only six o'clock, even though it felt like they'd been shopping forever. "Yokata! [1]" The teen was bogged down by quite a few bags, but at least the worst part was over. They could go home. Then realization hit him. _Oh, crap . . ._ He didn't want to subject Hiei to the train again, and the bags were going to be hell on public transportation anyway. "Hey, Kurama? How much money is left?"

The redhead blinked. "About ten thousand yen [2]." He grinned, his green eyes flashing mischievously. "I convinced Koenma to give me a bit more than was necessary." Hiei smirked slightly and Yuusuke snickered. "Why?"

"Do you think it's enough for a taxi? I don't think we'll be able to lug these back on the train." Yuusuke noticed that Hiei's face grew a bit paler at the mention of the train, but Kurama, fortunately, wasn't paying attention. _I'm not going to put him through that again . . . I'd better have that chat with Koenma tonight too._ "Besides, it'd be faster, and I have a few things to take care of."

Kurama grinned. "That's a good idea. We'll have more than enough. My house is on the way, so I'll come with." The youko looked out into traffic. "We just need to hail one."

It took about ten minutes to hail a free taxi, and then there was a bit of a problem with seating because Hiei obviously didn't want to sit next to Kurama. Yuusuke ended up sitting in the middle, and they finally started on their way home. Fortunately, Hiei wasn't as bothered by the taxi ride as he had been by the train ride, despite the fact that the three of them were crammed in the back seat. The trip to Kurama's house took about twenty minutes, and the redhead gave Yuusuke the money for the rest of the trip when he stepped out. The teen waited for him to get to his door before specifying an address.

Hiei glanced at him curiously. "That's not your address. Where are we going?"

Yuusuke blinked. He hadn't realized that Hiei had memorized his address. _I keep underestimating him . . ._ "Kuwabara's. I need to do something, so you'll have to stay there for about an hour." Hiei made a face, but said nothing. The rest of the trip to Kuwabara's house was spent in silence.

Shizuru looked surprised when they showed up at the door carrying the bags. Then she grinned. "C'mon in. I'll get the baka." She let them in and took their bags from them, setting them down just past the genkan while Yuusuke and Hiei removed their shoes, setting them neatly in front of the small step that led to the rest of the house.

Kuwabara came bounding down the stairs. "Urameshi, Hiei, what're you doing here?"

Yuusuke raised his eyebrows and pointed at the bags. "We just got done shopping. I need to run a quick errand. Can Hiei stay here for about an hour?"

The larger boy scratched the back of his head. "Eh . . . Sure, if it's okay with oneechan [3]."

Shizuru rapped the side of her brother's head sharply. "Yup. It's hollow." Kuwabara shrieked in outrage, and she spoke over him. "Of course it's okay with me. Hiei's better company than this idiot any day of the week--quieter, anyway."

"'Neechan, that's mean!"

"Live with it."

Kuwabara scowled. Yuusuke glanced at Hiei to see that the fire demon actually looked amused, showing a real, if slight, smile for the first time since the whole fiasco had begun. The carrot-top interrupted his thoughts, his face still fixed in a pout. "We can play video games while you're gone or something."

Yuusuke grinned. "Thanks, Kuwabara. I'll be back soon." He stepped back into the genkan and slipped his shoes back on, then let himself out. "Ja!"

It was only after Yuusuke was a block away from Kuwabara's house that he wondered how he was going to get to the Reikai. He frowned, then put his hand in his pocket, hoping the little compact case was in there. The teen sighed in relief as his fingers found it, and he pulled it out, opening it.

Botan's face appeared after several seconds, looking confused. "Oh, Yuusuke! You're not on a mission. Is there a problem?"

"I need to talk to Koenma--in person. Could you take me to the Reikai?"

Botan bit her lip. "I guess I could. I'll be there in a few minutes. Find some sort of cover so no one gets suspicious."

"Right." He flipped the compact closed. _I can get things taken care of with Koenma and everything will run smoothly. After this, it's just school, and that's nothing!_ He pointedly ignored the part of his mind that was laughing at his optimism and set out to find some sort of cover to meet Botan.

* * *

Koenma looked up from his paperwork as Yuusuke entered his office, shooting the teen a concerned look. "Don't tell me you're quitting. Please don't tell me that."

_Quitting . . .? You mean we can do that?_ Yuusuke blinked. "Er . . . as tempting as that suggestion is, no." He paused, but couldn't resist adding, "Not yet, anyway . . ."

Koenma paled, his expression going from concern to near-panic faster than Yuusuke would have thought was possible. "Not . . . yet?" the demi-god whimpered.

Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "It was a joke. Seriously, though, I need a favor from you . . ."

"Oh." Relief passed over Koenma's face and Yuusuke frowned curiously. "What was it you wanted?"

"Instead of the futons, I want Western-style beds."

It was the demi-god's turn to frown. "Why?"

_He doesn't need to know. Hiei deserves some privacy._ Yuusuke shook his head. "I can't say exactly. It doesn't matter. Just trust me, please. You know I'm pretty good at judging things. The beds are important. And I'd prefer if they were there tonight by the time I take Hiei back to the apartment." He paused slightly, his frown deepening as Koenma considered, looking like he was going to say no. "Besides, I'm doing this, and you kinda owe me for that." _I feel like such a jerk, saying that . . ._ The truth was, Yuusuke would've done it anyway, finding some way to integrate Hiei into the Ningenkai without Koenma's help if he'd had to. The demi-god just made things easier, giving Yuusuke the opportunity to make the transition much more comfortable for Hiei.

Koenma glared at Yuusuke for a long moment before giving in. "All right. You'll get the beds--tonight too, even if it's pushing it." The toddler glanced around. "Where _is_ Hiei, anyway?"

_He just noticed that Hiei's not here? Geez, and he's my boss . . ._ "I left him with Kuwabara. Kurama and I just finished shopping for his clothes." He paused. "Why did you think I was going to quit?"

Koenma stiffened, looking much like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, then sighed. "I spoke to Kurama yesterday, and he informed me that you sounded stressed--like Hiei was giving you a hard time."

_So he's keeping tabs on me . . .? Using Kurama?_ Yuusuke kept his face neutral. _I'm glad I found this out before I actually discussed anything with Kurama._ "I was, but it's not anything I can't handle. Fact is, he's my friend. I'm not going to quit just because things get a bit difficult." He momentarily considered saying something snarky about how Koenma should ask his informant about his--evidently--former relationship with Hiei, but quickly decided against it. He wasn't going to cause any more trouble than already existed, and he certainly wasn't going to risk letting either Hiei or Kurama know that he'd been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I could use some money," he said instead.

Koenma scowled. "Why? You bought him all the clothing he needs, right?"

"Yeah. But we have no food at the apartment, and my mom's not going to do anything about that. I didn't care before--I could steal what I needed. But I'd rather not have to do that with Hiei around. It'd be way too much stealing and nothing I was able to steal was very nutritious." Yuusuke flinched as Koenma turned a disapproving glare on him. "Well, what was I supposed to do? Starve?" His boss continued to scrutinize him, and he fought the urge to squirm.

Finally, Koenma sighed. "I _do_ owe you. I've never paid any of you for your hard work." He touched a button on his desk. "George, come in here." The godling sat back down in his chair as George rushed in. "I'll be opening a debit account for you at a bank near your apartment on Monday. I'll give you enough money for meals until then."

Yuusuke blinked. _Wow._ "What should I say if my mom gets suspicious?"

"It's money from a charity group for taking in an orphan. Make sure to let her know that the money will stop if she spends it on alcohol."

"Er . . . That works. Thanks, Koenma."

Koenma smiled slightly. "I'll do what I can and trust you to take care of Hiei's needs. I know I don't need to know everything that's going on, but I will be watching that account. If I see anything weird--like you possibly spending frivolously--I will require an explanation. This money isn't for cigarettes or pornos [4]."

Yuusuke winced. There was the payback for the comment about quitting. "That's fair, but you need to understand that while I'll answer truthfully, I'm also going to leave Hiei as much privacy as possible."

His boss frowned, but nodded. "That's all I can expect." The demi-god stood. "George, get Yuusuke enough money for food tomorrow and breakfast Monday. Give him quite a bit extra, just in case." The oni scampered from the room. "You said that Hiei is with the Kuwabaras right now?" Yuusuke nodded. "I'll give you enough money to order food for everyone when you get back there."

Yuusuke nodded. "Thanks, Koenma."

George rushed back in with a handful of money, dumping it on the one empty part of his boss's desk. "Here, Koenma-sama. Is this enough?"

The infant nodded. "Thank you. Go ahead and take it, Yuusuke. Botan will take you back to the Ningenkai. Good luck."

Yuusuke smiled slightly as he thanked Koenma and left. He was going to need that luck, and he knew it.

* * *

[1] Yokata basically means "It was good" but is also used for "Thank goodness" from what I've seen.

[2] Ten thousand yen is approximately $100. It would probably cost about that much because, according to my sources, taxis cost about $6 just for the first 1.25 miles in Tokyo.

[3] Oneechan is older sister.

[4] In the manga, Yuusuke smokes, shoplifts, and reads dirty magazines. They softened his character for the anime, but he's _really_ not a great person at the beginning of the manga.

This is taking longer than I thought it would. I might skip ahead to the first day of school with Yuusuke maybe alluding to things that happen over the rest of the weekend. I don't think anything really important is going to happen, so it's no big deal. Oh, nope. That won't work. *sigh*

A lot of people have asked about this fic and my others. My life has gotten significantly busier. I'm running the fanfiction contest (www.angelfire.com/anime4/grapesnlemons/), judging another fanfiction contest for a different fandom, dealing with a ton of problems school-wise, and working at a job that is no longer as fun as it used to be. Therefore, things are going to update very slowly.

If anyone is interested in getting emailed updates on this and my other fanfiction, email rosethorneupdate-subscribe@yahoogroups.com to be automatically subscribed to my update ML.

Many thanks go to Tora for being my test subje- er . . . beta reader for this chapter. She also helped me with the flow and a bit of the humorous content. She's the goddess of beta-reading. ^__^

And, yes, I know this is awfully short. I am incapable of writing long chapters for some reason . . .


	9. Chapter Nine

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Nine  
Yuusuke woke slowly, his brow furrowing as he heard sheets rustling. He opened his eyes, cringing slightly at the sunlight, and glanced at Hiei, who was moving in his sleep, caught in a dream. _A nightmare?_ The human watched his charge for a few moments, then flushed deeply as a moaned name reached his ears. _Definitely **not** a nightmare . . ._ He burrowed back under the covers, forcing down a childish giggle.

His amusement died away as he realized the implications. Hiei was dreaming about Kurama . . . And, considering the current circumstances, he probably wasn't going to wake up very happy. So would it be better if he woke the fire demon? He cringed at the idea. It would probably be best to let Hiei wake up on his own and pretend he hadn't heard anything. He lay quietly, wishing he could just go back to sleep, but sleep was definitely going to be impossible after this.

He peeked out from under the covers just in time to see Hiei sit up with a startled gasp, then closed his eyes, listening silently. After a short while, he heard Hiei slide off the bed and open the closet. The fire demon's footsteps receded, and Yuusuke realized that he'd left the room. He waited for a minute, then had to choke down another inappropriate giggle as he heard the shower turn on, his mind supplying commentary about the probable temperature of the water.

When he'd recovered, Yuusuke sat up and stretched, figuring that he might as well have breakfast ready when Hiei got out of the shower. There was a good chance that his charge was going to be in a nasty mood, and it would probably be better to greet it bearing gifts. The human sighed softly as he got up and headed for the kitchen to start cooking, noting on the way that Atsuko still had not returned from her drinking binge.

He couldn't help but feel sorry for Hiei. The demon had a lot of issues going on at once. He had tried to kill himself, for reasons that Yuusuke did not yet know, and his attempt was thwarted, and now he was being forced to live as a human with a fake background that had ended up hurting Atsuko--which obviously had Hiei feeling guilty. The most painful of the issues he was wrestling with, Yuusuke assumed, had to be his obvious feelings for Kurama--feelings that hadn't disappeared with the rejection and the post-rejection anger.

He yawned as he opened the refrigerator, grinning at the gift that Shizuru had sent home with them the night before--eggs, orange juice, and a bit of butter. That would make a decent breakfast. He momentarily wondered how Hiei would want his eggs, then shook his head. Hiei probably wouldn't know; who knew if he'd had eggs before? Yuusuke decided on fried eggs, since those were his favorite.

By the time Hiei came into the kitchen, the meal was nearly done and the table was set. "Good morning, Hiei. Go ahead and sit down. Did you want butter and jelly on your toast?"

"Hn."

Yuusuke smiled, his back turned to Hiei so the fire demon couldn't see it. "Butter and jelly it is. We're having fried eggs. Is that okay with you?" This time there was no response. "Good." He turned and put two pieces of toast on each of their plates, then turned back to the stove and checked the eggs. He quickly transferred them to a third plate as he realized that they were done and turned off the burner, then served himself and Hiei.

Hiei stared at his plate. "What is this?" It was the first sentence he'd deigned to speak since he'd entered the kitchen.

"Eggs. I told you that was what we were having." Hiei made a face. "You don't have to eat, but we're going shopping today, and I don't have enough money to stop at a restaurant, so you might want to."

The fire demon stared at him. "_Again_?"

Yuusuke took a bite of his egg, savoring the taste before answering. "Yeah. This time for groceries. Shizuru sent this home with us. When it's gone, there's nothing else. You don't have to worry; Kurama's not coming." He winced as he realized what he'd said, glancing at Hiei cautiously.

Hiei didn't react. "I know you eavesdropped on the conversation at the store."

The human winced. "I didn't mean to . . ." He watched as Hiei rolled his eyes and took a bite of his egg. "Hiei . . . Why did you say anything if you knew I was there?"

Hiei shrugged. "Kurama didn't listen to make sure no one was around. You'd heard what he said, and you'd have annoyed me until you found out if I hadn't continued the conversation."

"Does Kurama know that I know?"

"I doubt it," Hiei snorted. "He's so concerned with his damned reputation . . . He would have tried to keep me quiet and he'd have made up an excuse." The fire demon didn't look up from his eggs. "Besides, it's not like it matters that you found out. Any information you use against me goes toward my goal, so why should I care?"

Yuusuke scowled at that. How could Hiei think that he would ever betray him? "Well, if we're in the business of being completely honest, I wasn't asleep this morning when you had your dream," he snapped, then cringed inwardly. _Stupid!_

Hiei's fork fell from his hand, clattering on the plate. "_What_?" The word was clipped, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

He continued hesitantly. "I woke up when you were having your dream. You were a bit . . . noisy." Hiei's face reddened slightly. "You called Kurama's name."

Hiei scowled and looked away. "So? What are you going to do? Tell him?"

Yuusuke glared, angered by the implications of the question. "No." He drained the orange juice from his glass and got up to refill it. "Everyone has wet dreams. They're normal." He filled his glass and put the orange juice back in the refrigerator. "So who was uke, anyway?"

He turned around just in time for his face to meet part of Hiei's breakfast up close and personal. The fire demon fled the room. Yuusuke swore, wincing as bits of egg burned his face. _Stupid! Can you possibly screw anything **else** up?!_ He grabbed a paper towel from the counter and wiped egg yolk from his face, then headed after Hiei, cursing his own idiocy the entire way. He couldn't believe that he'd let something like that slip, angry or not.

Hiei was curled up under the blankets on his bed when Yuusuke entered the bedroom. "Hiei . . .?" There was no response. "Hiei, I'm sorry . . ."

"Leave me the hell alone."

Yuusuke sighed, pressing on and hoping that, for once, he wasn't screwing up. "I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking. I just . . . wish you'd trust me."

Hiei sat up and glared at him. "Trust you? When you keep saying things like that?" Yuusuke flinched. "Not only are you forcing me into this, you're also twisting the fucking knife. So why _should_ I trust you?" The fire demon lay back down, presenting the human with his back.

"I know," Yuusuke said softly, "that I keep screwing up. I'm trying not to. But . . . It's like you're trying to start things."

His charge answered without turning around. "Like you expect anything else? You're forcing me into something that _I don't want_! How the hell do you _expect_ me to act?! Complacent?"

"No," Yuusuke frowned. "I want you to be happy . . ." He winced as he realized how lame that sounded, despite the fact that it was the truth.

The fire demon turned around and looked at him, his eyes hollow. "Then you should have let me die." Hiei turned back toward the wall.

"You know I couldn't do that, Hiei," he whispered. He continued when Hiei didn't reply. "I'm not doing this for Koenma. You may think that I am, and that I don't really care, but I'm not and I do. I would've tried to help you anyway if Koenma didn't give a shit--even if it meant giving up on the Ningenkai and going to Makai. Koenma just makes things a little easier." The human paused for a second. "But I would have done it without him. Without the wards, or the barrier, or the binding. This isn't about him or his stupid problems--it's about _you_."

There was a long silence before Hiei responded. "Don't pretend I'm anything but a burden."

"You're _not_ a burden, Hiei! If anything, you're a blessing! Did you know that Koenma's giving me money for food now that you're staying here? Otherwise, I'd be starving. And at least now Mom's drinking for a _reason_. It might help to knock some sense into her. And Kuwabara is going to be trying harder in school, if I know him, for your sake. And Kurama-"

"I don't want to hear about it!" Hiei interrupted, turning to glare at him. The glare was quickly replaced by a tired look. "I don't want to hear about _him_, Yuusuke. Things are hard enough, having to see him constantly . . . without having to hear about him."

Yuusuke stared at him. "Hiei . . ." His heart went out to his friend, and he wished there were something he could do to alleviate his pain.

Hiei lay down on his back and stared at the ceiling. "I trusted him, Yuusuke . . ." A bitter smile twisted his lips. "I thought that he was acting honestly--that he really did . . ." He trailed off and shook his head. "And he wasn't. I ignored every warning. I should have been careful, suspicious--something!" He closed his eyes. "I'm a fool."

Yuusuke risked sitting on the edge of Hiei's bed. "Hiei . . . I honestly thought that you two _were_ a couple. You weren't the only one being fooled." He sighed as he remembered his findings about their 'trusted' friend. Hiei had the right to know what was going on. "And we're still being fooled, evidently. I know you may not want to hear this, but I think you should know . . . Hiei, Kurama's playing snitch to Koenma."

Hiei's eyes widened and he gaped at Yuusuke. "What?"

"He told Koenma that I was stressed. Remember the phone call Friday, when we made plans to go shopping? And I was annoyed?" Hiei nodded. "He told Koenma. Koenma thought I was going to quit." Yuusuke scowled. "Before, I was going ask Kurama for advice, but . . ."

Hiei's bitter smile returned. "He can't be trusted . . ."

"No, he can't be. But . . ." Yuusuke grinned evilly. "His meddling did do something." The fire demon raised a curious eyebrow. "It got these beds, and it got us the money for groceries. I used what Koenma thought to guilt-trip him into it."

Hiei snorted. "You'd have made a good thief." His eyes fixed on the open window.

Yuusuke grinned. "Thanks." He became serious after a beat, noticing how looking out the window had made the fire demon relax. _That reminds me . . ._ "Hiei, I was wondering . . ."

"Hm?"

"You're claustrophobic, aren't you?" The fire demon flinched and refused to look at him. "Hiei . . .?"

"Is it that obvious?" Hiei asked softly.

Yuusuke frowned. "Not really. The train ride kind of gave it away . . ."

"Oh." Hiei went silent and kept his eyes riveted on the window.

Yuusuke waited for him to say something--anything!--else, fidgeting as the seconds passed. He was just about to say something when Hiei spoke again.

"Is that why you asked Koenma for the beds?" The fire demon still didn't look at him.

He nodded, then realized that Hiei couldn't see him. "Yes. It's also why your bed is by the window." Yuusuke resisted the urge to bite his nails as he waited impatiently for the fire demon's reply.

The human repressed a sigh of relief when Hiei finally responded. "You know . . . You're the first person who's ever figured it out on their own. Even Kurama-" Hiei broke off, his jaw clenching. "Everything always comes back to him . . . Why?"

Yuusuke ventured an answer, despite the fact that the question was obviously rhetorical. "You love him."

Hiei laughed shortly--bitterly--at that. "I don't know what love is," he said mockingly.

The tone of the fire demon's voice startled Yuusuke. _Who is he mocking? Me, or . . ._ His eyes widened. "He said that?" Hiei nodded, his eyes closing. "He's so full of shit, Hiei. If he can't see the truth, he's blind--either by choice or through his own stupidity."

"It doesn't matter," Hiei whispered harshly.

Yuusuke winced. "I'm sorry, Hiei . . ."

"Don't bother. It's not your fault. It's mine."

"It's not yours, Hiei." The fire demon didn't respond. Yuusuke glanced at the clock. It was pushing on afternoon, and he wanted to get the shopping done earlier than later. "Hiei . . . we have to get going."

"I don't want to go anywhere."

Yuusuke bit his lip. "If I leave you here, you'll be knocked out because you'll be out of range of the barrier . . ."

"Oblivion sounds nice right now."

Yuusuke winced. _Oblivion and death . . ._ "If that's what you want . . ."

Hiei just lay there, his eyes closed. "It is." 

"Fine." Yuusuke sighed. He really didn't feel like battling Hiei right now. It would be less energy to just give him what he wanted. After all, it was just a little thing--not like he was asking for Yuusuke to kill him. "I need to take a shower to get this egg out of my hair. I'll check back on you before I leave, okay?"

"Hn." The fire demon turned over, presenting Yuusuke with his back and effectively ending the conversation.

Yuusuke stood and pulled the covers over Hiei, who didn't react, then gathered his clothing and left the room.

* * *

Yuusuke sighed as he towel-dried his now egg-free hair. He had wanted to relax in the bath for a while, but he definitely needed to get the shopping out of the way. He glanced at his hair gel, then shrugged. People tended not to recognize him without his hair gel, and he was sure that would be better when he was trying to shop--especially with his reputation for shoplifting. He ran a comb through his hair, then sighed and left the bathroom.

He blinked as he saw Hiei on the living room couch, fully dressed. The fire demon looked somewhat paler than usual. "I thought you were going to sleep?"

Hiei shrugged. "I changed my mind."

"So you're coming shopping with me?" Hiei shrugged again. Yuusuke took that as a yes. "Let's get going then." He padded to the genkan and pulled his shoes from the geta-bako, then slipped them on. Hiei did the same. "Why'd you change your mind?"

"None of your business."

Yuusuke sighed and opened the door, waiting for Hiei to leave the apartment before locking the door behind him. _I guess our little heart-to heart is over . . ._ "I figure we'll go to a place nearby. If they'll even let me in, that is."

"Shoplifting days catching up with you?" Hiei's voice held a note of sarcasm.

Yuusuke ignored it and headed for the stairwell. "Yes. I didn't really have a choice, you know . . ."

"Sure. Stealing pornos was for necessity. I can see how those are needed to survive." The sarcasm was very evident this time.

The human stopped and glared at Hiei. "It's not necessary that you come with, Hiei. If you'd rather stay at the apartment and be unconscious until I get back, that's fine with me." The fire demon flinched. "No. I'll come."

Yuusuke began walking down the hall again. "Then quit it. I'm trying to be nice to you. I'm trying to make things as comfortable as possible for you. You know I can't let you die or kill you, so why can't you just quit being an asshole?"

There was a long pause before Hiei answered. "Because that's what I am."

Yuusuke couldn't think of a reply.

* * *

Yuusuke scowled and kicked a rock, frustrated. They'd been going from store to store for hours, and had been turned away at each one. No one was willing to trust him in their stores. He couldn't blame them, though, with his shoplifting record.

His only relief was that Hiei hadn't taunted him about it. _Yet,_ he reminded himself, _he hasn't said anything snide YET._ If things kept the way they were going, they'd never get groceries for the night, and he definitely wouldn't be able to get groceries anywhere with the debit card.

"There's another store." Yuusuke nearly jumped at the sound of Hiei's voice. The fire demon hadn't spoken since they had left the apartment complex.

"We'll try it, but I bet we'll be turned away again." He headed toward the shop with Hiei, glancing at the sign as they approached--Genchiro no Kanbutsuya [1]. It was probably the last store in the area that hadn't turned them away. It was also one of the tiniest stores in the area.

The store owner glared at them when they entered the store, but made no move to force them to leave. Yuusuke sighed in relief and grabbed a basket, leading the way through the aisles. Hiei followed behind him in silence. He winced at the high prices, wishing that he had the option of shopping around. But he didn't, so he kept his mouth shut and shoved nutritious-looking items into the basket, asking Hiei questions every so often that the fire demon answered in a language of shrugs. Yuusuke eventually gave up on getting his charge's input and ignored him.

The teen grabbed a gallon of milk from the cooler and went to check out. The store owner didn't begin ringing them up, and Yuusuke blinked at him. "Sir . . .?"

The man scowled at them. "I want to see money before I start ringing _you_ up."

Yuusuke sighed and pulled out the money that Koenma had given him. "It's enough. Would you please ring us up?"

The man rolled his eyes, managing to convey that having money and actually paying were two different things and implying that Yuusuke wasn't going to pay. Yuusuke scowled at him and the store owner shrugged and began ringing up the groceries anyway.

They had finished paying and were about to leave when the police arrived. "What the-"

The store owner rushed forward. "Thank goodness you came so quickly! Not only did he take groceries, but he also robbed me!"

Yuusuke stared. "No, I didn't! I paid!" He pulled out the money that they had left. "This is just the change from what we bought.

The man smirked at him. "You're a liar and now you've been caught."

Hiei glared. "Perhaps you forgot that you gave us a _receipt_?" He held up the piece of paper.

"You made me ring you up! To open the drawer!"

The shorter officer frowned. "I'm not sure what's going on here . . . But you are known for shoplifting, Urameshi Yuusuke."

Yuusuke's eyes widened. "But I _didn't_! Count down the cash register, and you'll see that I'm telling you the truth!"

The store owner scowled indignantly. "Are you accusing me of lying?! Why would I lie?"

"Because we just paid 70,000 yen [2] for overpriced groceries because no one else would let us shop in their stores." Hiei scowled. "And since you have no customers because you try to cheat them, you're going to try to get your goods back _and_ keep the money that we bought them with using the bad reputation that Yuusuke is trying to get rid of."

"If you're not lying, you'll have no problem with the officer counting your drawer down," Yuusuke added, surprised that Hiei had spoken up.

"This is ridiculous!" the man yelled. "Why should my time be wasted because of you punks?!"

"Sir, unless you present evidence that they stole from you, the receipt and the fact that the amount on the receipt matches the amount in his pocket show his innocen-"

The taller officer interrupted his partner. "I agree with the store owner. This is a waste of his time. We'll arrest these two and leave."

"Taki! We can't do that! We-"

The tall officer glared at his partner. "We will arrest them. It's not our job to prove or disprove anything." He walked toward Yuusuke. "Put the bags down."

Yuusuke dropped the bags and allowed the officer to pat him down and handcuff him. He frowned as the officer turned to Hiei, who backed away. "He's not involved! Let him alone!"

The officer smirked at him. "He certainly isn't an innocent bystander if he's involved with you." He reached for Hiei. The fire demon stayed out of his reach, his eyes wide. "So you're resisting arrest, eh?"

Yuusuke frowned. This wasn't right. They hadn't done anything wrong. And Hiei didn't like to be touched . . .

The bells on the door jingled, and Yuusuke's eyes widened as he saw Kurama standing there. The fox met his eyes. "What is going on?"

"They're arresting us, Ku- er . . . Shuuichi. The store owner accused us of stealing money, and they won't count down his cash register to prove it." Yuusuke nearly grinned as he saw the annoyance that Kurama was feeling. He settled back to watch what played out.

Kurama glared at the officer who had been advancing on Hiei. "You _do_ realize that you are falsely arresting these two if you don't check out all the facts, don't you?" His voice was dangerous. "I want your names. I will be reporting this incident."

The shorter officer frowned. "I'm Uchiro Youji, and he's Wasari Taki." He turned toward the store owner, who had been about to open the cash register. "Good, you're ready to count that drawer down." He walked over there. "Let's see it."

The store owner blanched. "But . . ."

Kurama turned toward Wasari. "You need to take these handcuffs off Yuusuke. He has not been formally arrested yet."

Uchiro continued to speak to the store owner. "There is no reason for you to be reluctant if you are honest." His voice was slightly mocking.

As his partner scolded the store owner, Wasari unhandcuffed Yuusuke, glaring at Kurama. "If he turns out to be guilty . . ."

The store owner flinched under Officer Uchiro's gaze. "All right . . ." he whispered, defeated. "I lied. They paid."

Kurama smirked. "He's not. I told you."

Wasari's eyes widened. "What? But he . . ."

His partner grinned at him. "He lied. It was as the little one said." Hiei scowled. Uchiro turned back to the store owner. "You just wasted our time. You could be arrested for this."

Yuusuke shook his head. "I don't want to be bothered. I _do_ want a new gallon of milk. This one's been sitting out for twenty minutes, and I don't want to risk it."

The store owner nodded, defeated. "Go get one. I'll throw that one out." Yuusuke did.

Uchiro sighed and glared at the store owner. "This really was a waste of our time." He glanced at Yuusuke. "Are you trying to reform?"

Yuusuke nodded, and gestured toward Hiei. "I have a cousin to take care of. I can't be stealing and acting like an idiot."

Wasari rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

Uchiro glared at him. "Taki, quit it." He shot Yuusuke an apologetic look. "He's too cynical for his own good. We'll spread the word that you're giving up stealing so things are easier for you, but you'd better stick to it."

"I will. You have my word on that."

"We'll see," Wasari retorted. He left the store. Uchiro shrugged and followed him.

Yuusuke gathered the groceries that he'd been forced to drop and headed out the door. "Why are you here, Kurama?"

Kurama smiled. "I keep track of everyone, usually. You two were wandering around and I wondered why."

Hiei scowled. "It's none of your damned business."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "If I hadn't been curious, you two would have been arrested."

"Thanks, Kurama. We'd better get home now." Yuusuke gave Hiei a meaningful look. "Let's go." Kurama frowned, but didn't follow them, thankfully. "Hiei, I know you're upset with him, but he did help us back there," Yuusuke whispered when they were out of the fox's hearing range.

"He's just watching us so he can report to Koenma."

Yuusuke sighed. "Yeah, but if he hadn't stepped in, you'd have been patted down and shoved in handcuffs and we both would have been thrown in jail." He glanced at Hiei. "And I know you don't like to be touched . . ."

"Mind your own business, Yuusuke."

Yuusuke sighed and shifted the bags in his arms. It was going to be a _long_ week.

* * *

[1] Genchiro's Grocery Store.

[2] The equivilent of about $65 or so American dollars. And Yuusuke really didn't buy much. Very, very expensive . . .

This fic is officially a TWT--Timeline? What Timeline?--fic. I realized that there's no way to place it in the timeline, so . . . Eheh. ^^;

I'm really sorry that it took so long to get this next chapter out. I just finished a semester from hell, complete with a Satan's-minion professor. It also took me a while to decide how to start the chapter, and then a while for me to get the guts to actually use the first part of the chapter that's there. ^^; I was kinda iffy on whether I should use it or not. Then there was me getting sick . . . Yeah. Bad several months.

Rudely demanding that I update is not going to make things go any faster. I update when I can, really. If I haven't updated in a while, it's because I'm busy. Anyone who reads my LiveJournal knows. (Of course, since I now have my LJ friends-only . . .)

In any case . . . I've gotten a lot of reviews for this. The first one I should reply to is the Yuusuke-Yusuke ones. I don't really feel like explaining the hiragana system to you. If you look it up on the internet, Yuusuke's name in hiragana is done Yu-u-su-ke (I have the manga, so I've seen it). Some people drop the extra u, which is there to indicate an extended vowel, when they write it in romanji (aka, English letters based on the sounds), but I choose not to. It's correct either way. In addition, the suke part is often pronounced without the u. It happens a lot, especially with su. Take suki, which means like. It's usually pronounced ski. However, the proper romanization is either Yusuke or Yuusuke. Not Yuske or Yuuske.

The manga can be seen in Shonen Jump USA, which is in most anime/comic book stores. If you want it in the original Japanese, Ebay sometimes has copies on it. I have all 19 volumes in Japanese, which I bought from someone on Ebay. I also get the Shonen Jump manga, which includes Yu-Gi-Ou, DragonBallZ, Sand Land, One Piece, Naruto, and Yu Yu Hakusho. All of them are very good, though Shonen Jump tends to have more YGO and DBZ in each issue than the others combined. The manga is actually significantly different from the anime (Hiei's past is VERY different, for example).

As for FUNimation and Cartoon Network, many of the people who were originally fans of YYH before FUNimation bought the rights are EXTREMELY angry. Did you know that they promised to leave the theme music alone to appease us? And that they lied, obviously. I remember the release, when we all crowed victory over _something_. It's the reason that I will never buy a FUNimation version of YYH, ever. That was the requirement we set forth in order for us to buy the FUNimation-released version. And them changing George's name to "Ogre" is utterly ridiculous. The only good things FUNi did with YYH was make Jin Irish and Chuu Australian.

As for the problems understanding the Japanese, I'm actually trying to cut down on the Japanese because I tend to use what's called "fangirl Japanese". Try this online Japanese-English-Japanese dictionary: poets.notredame.ac.jp/cgi-bin/jedi-inon. It's really good, and it should be a big help. I try to put many of the terms in the author's notes.

Um . . . As for the person who was disgusted by the idea of Hiei liking Kurama . . . This is going to be a Yuusuke/Hiei shonen ai fic. As in Yuusuke and Hiei falling in love, maybe implied sex, and the like. If you don't like that kind of thing, you probably shouldn't read any more of this fic.

Loading problems: Type in Microsoft Word, and when you save it, make sure to save it as an HTML. There's a drop down menu in the save box that you can change to do that. It usually works if you do that. I haven't tried it in a while. I use raw HTML coding, and even that sometimes decides to mess up since some of the site changed.

And I know how this is going to end already. Pleas and demands will go nowhere. It's just going to be a long haul to get to the ending. ^^; Please don't make demands of me plot-line wise. It kind of makes me cringe.

I've also gotten several people telling me that Hiei, Kurama, Yuusuke, etc, are not gay. My response is DUH! They're bi. :P Just kidding. Actually, my response to that is very complicated. My view: Hiei/Kurama for release for a while. No real relationship. Just sex. Brief Hiei/Yuusuke. Slight relationship with them. Then Hiei/Mukuro. Relationship, there. I could go more in depth, but I want this to stay rated R. Agree or disagree, this is my thought. It's based on talks with other authors and with my Firebaby. Let's just say that having an opposite-gender significant other doesn't necessarily make one straight.

And to the college guys in Arizona who read this: That really was my beta-reader. XD Small world, isn't it? I was actually very flattered to hear about it. Thanks for reading/caring. ^^

Whew. Long author's note. Sorry. Lots of things happened, obviously. Things have been unbelievably busy, and work decided that I wasn't going to get door at all this semester, or there would have been some writing out.

Yes, I've written most of this in my LJ, but most of you don't read it, so here we are.

Thanks again to Tora for catching several mistakes.


	10. Chapter Ten

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

~Standard Disclaimers Apply~

* * *

Chapter Ten  
Yuusuke watched, bored, as Hiei glared at him from the front of the room. He hated this class. It wasn't really the subject, even though English was one of his worst, but he really hated the teacher, Iwamoto-sensei [1]. It probably didn't help that Iwamoto hated him and wanted him expelled.

"Introduce yourself to the class, young man."

Hiei scowled. "Urameshi Hiei . . . Yoroshiku [2]." He spat the phrase at the class.

Yuusuke suppressed a sigh as one of the girls in the class, Keiko's four-eyed friend, giggled like a lovesick teenager. _What am I thinking? She **is** a lovesick teenager!_ The girl had immediately tried to latch onto Hiei, who had immediately used Yuusuke as a shield. _Lucky she's scared of me . . ._

Iwamoto smirked at Hiei. "Looks like you already have a girlfriend, Urameshi-_chan_." He smacked Hiei on the shoulder, and the fire demon's eyes widened. He seemed caught between the urge to run and the urge to kill. Yuusuke winced, hoping to hell that he didn't have to run up to the front of the class to save the bastard's life. Iwamoto grinned cruelly. "Go to your seat, Urameshi-chan."

Hiei finally settled on growling low in his throat and giving the teacher a death glare, much to Yuusuke's relief. The fire demon stalked to the seat behind him, glowering at him the entire way. "Sorry; I should have warned you," Yuusuke barely whispered as he went past, inaudible to anyone but Hiei. The sanjiyan responded by glaring even harder, right before sitting down.

Iwamoto shot them another nasty look before beginning their English lesson, calling on Hiei at every opportunity. Yuusuke couldn't help but smirk as Hiei answered every question in flawless English, sometimes forming complex sentences that had everyone scurrying to translate.

It wasn't fair. Takenaka had quietly informed him that he'd called a teacher's meeting to explain the situation. Everyone knew that Hiei was supposed to be emotionally fragile, so they should be kind and understanding. They also knew that they weren't to touch him, and Iwamoto had done so anyway, and quite deliberately. He was going to have to have a talk with Takenaka about this.

Yuusuke sighed. Today was really not going well. First they'd had to explain what was going on to Keiko before she ruined everything. Keiko had been less than pleased, but had agreed to keep quiet about it. Then they'd had to deal with Rat-Face in science class. Akashi had pestered Hiei the entire time, and had been extremely annoyed when Hiei knew the answers to his questions. Which, of course, led to the bastard forming a grudge, though it hadn't helped that Hiei had answered in a bored, condescending manner. Yuusuke was going to have to watch out for him, especially after knowing what he did to people who thwarted his plans. Hiei pissing Akashi off had definitely been worth it, if only for the sight of the ratface turning purple with rage as he fired off questions one right after another at Hiei. The entire class could tell that Hiei was being singled out by the end, which didn't bode well for Akashi. The rumor mill was going to have a field day about it, and Takenaka would definitely hear about it on his own.

"I will not tolerate such disrespect!" Iwamoto's yell suddenly cut through Yuusuke's thoughts.

Yuusuke blinked, quickly realizing that Iwamoto was screaming at Hiei, who was just leaning back and smirking in a manner that was definitely disrespectful. The human suppressed a snicker as Hiei responded in English, his voice drawling, bored, and very impertinent.

Yuusuke had no idea what he'd said--nor did most of the rest of the class--but it had obviously been bad, because Iwamoto turned an even deeper purple than Akashi had. "OUT!" the teacher pointed a shaking finger toward the classroom door.

Hiei smirked and grabbed his books, saying something else in English that infuriated Iwamoto further.

Yuusuke gathered his books as well. "Where do you think you're going, Urameshi Yuusuke?!"

He grinned at the teacher. "I go where my cousin goes. Besides, I certainly wouldn't want you to have someone else to pick on. You _do_ have a class to teach, and I don't want you to forget that because you're too busy bullying."

"_OUT!!_" The teacher had totally lost it, by this point.

"I'm going. That's what you were yelling at me about in the first place. You must be getting senile in your old age." Yuusuke shot a grin at Hiei, who smirked back. "Let's go. We should prolly stop and have a chat with Takenaka on our way home."

They headed toward the door, and Hiei threw another smart-assed comment over his shoulder in English as Yuusuke slid the door shut, provoking another enraged bellow from the ego-wounded teacher.

"Holy shit, Hiei . . . What'd you say?"

"He made comments about my dead family, so I retorted with statements about his family and how screwed up they must be to have raised a git like him." The fire demon smirked. "Then when he yelled about disrespect, I informed him that he was nothing but a bully and that Enma would judge his soul on that, whether he managed to fool the living or not."

Yuusuke stared at him. "He's definitely going to hold a grudge . . ."

Hiei shrugged. "He also commented about my name not fitting because I'm short."

"What a jerk." Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "I guess we'd better go talk to Takenaka and head home, eh?"

Hiei shrugged and looked away, and Yuusuke winced as he saw that the fire demon was closing up again. _Damnit . . . And here I thought I'd gotten through to him or something. He's much more animated at school. That's so weird . . ._

Yuusuke nearly jumped out of his skin as a hand fell on his shoulder. "Takenaka!"

He gently cuffed Yuusuke on the arm. "Takenaka-_sensei_, to you." He looked between them. "What the heck are you two doing out of class?"

Yuusuke scowled and crossed his arms behind his head. "Iwamoto kicked us out after provoking Hiei into giving him a tongue-lashing in English."

The teacher frowned. "What exactly happened?"

"Eh . . . He teased Hiei in front of the entire class, then hit him on the shoulder. Then he grilled Hiei in English for most of the class. He never called on anyone else." Yuusuke glanced at Hiei. "What else'd he say?"

Hiei shrugged. "That my parents were no good losers like Atsuko, and that I wasn't man enough to deserve my name."

Takenaka's eyes widened. "I'd heard through the rumor mill about Akashi's behavior, and it seems that Iwamoto is worse."

Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "They don't like me and they're trying to take it out on Hiei, and he ain't having none of it." The human snickered. "Iwamoto certainly regretted it. I don't think he understood half the shit you said, Hiei."

The fire demon shrugged again. "Doesn't matter."

The bell rang and students filtered from the classrooms. Takenaka smiled at them. "I'll go speak to our problem teacher. Go wait in my office." He disappeared into the throng of students.

Keiko stomped up to them. "What did you think you were doing, being belligerent like that?!"

"Aw, Keiko, you know he deserved it after what he said to Hiei."

Keiko blinked, then looked sheepish. "Oh? What did he say?"

Hiei scowled. "This is stupid. She comes to yell at us without even knowing what happened. Here I thought you were supposed to be smart, Keiko."

The brunette fumed at him. "I _am_ smart, you jerk! I also get along better with my classmates than the both of you put together! Poor Natsuko-chan [3] has a crush on you, and you're just going to be mean to her!"

Hiei rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pocket. "So? It's not my problem that she's a hormone-controlled teenager. I want nothing to do with her."

Keiko glared. "Natsuko-chan is a nice girl!"

Hiei snorted. "If she's a menopausal bitch like you, I beg to differ."

_SLAP!_

She lowered her hand, her breathing erratic and angry. Yuusuke stared. Then she seemed to snap out of it. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh! I'm sorry, Hiei!"

Hiei turned and walked away, and Yuusuke followed him, shocked. Keiko had actually slapped him! Across the face! And Hiei's only reaction had been to walk away! _What the . . ._ He'd expected Hiei to kill Keiko.

They rounded the corner, into an empty corridor, and Hiei's fist flashed out, slamming into the wall and putting a hole into the brick. The fire demon licked his bleeding hand, not looking at Yuusuke. "Next time she touches me, she dies."

Yuusuke nodded. "I'll let her know," he said quietly.

Hiei turned toward him, and Yuusuke flinched under his charge's infuriated gaze. "We're leaving. Now."

"But, Takenaka . . ."

"Now! If I have to deal with one more human, someone is going to die, and it _obviously_ won't be me." Hiei was speaking between clenched teeth. He did an about-face and stalked down the hall. Yuusuke had no choice but to follow him.

He couldn't help but feel a flicker of relief. One down, four more to go.

It was going to be a _very_ long week . . .

* * *

[1] I actually have no idea what Iwamoto teaches. I looked, and I couldn't find it, so I gave up and made something up. This fit what I wanted to do with the fic, so I ran with it.

[2] Yoroshiku = A pleasure to make your acquaintance. Obviously, Hiei does not consider it such.

[3] I have no idea what Keiko's short little friend with glasses is named, so I made one up that sounded like it might fit. I looked in the manga, even, but I may have missed it. If anyone knows, please tell me so I can change it. Never mind. Found it. It's in the April issue. -.-;

This is . . . odd. I had the hardest time writing the last chapter, and here's the second one, less than 24 hours after the first and written all in one sitting. Short, though it is, I felt it was finished.

In any case, it's short, but it's here. My birthday is Monday, so I'm going out of town for a bit. Parents and such. ^^;

In any case, many thanks go to Quoth the Raven and RuBarabaDom for the quick beta-reading. You two rock!


	11. Chapter Eleven

Suicide

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to StudioPerriot, Shonen JUMP, and other corporations and companies that I, sadly, have no affiliation with . . . yet.

* * *

Chapter Eleven  
Yuusuke unlocked the door to the apartment, letting Hiei enter before him. He winced, but didn't comment, when the fire demon didn't bother to take his shoes off in the genkan. Instead, he locked the door behind him and took his own shoes off.

Atsuko's voice drifted in from the other room. "What're you doing with your shoes on? Go take 'em off."

Hiei stalked back into the room and practically tore the shoes from his feet, throwing them at the geta-bako before stalking back through the living room and into the bedroom. Yuusuke cringed as Hiei slammed the door, then headed into the living room.

"Mattaku [1]! Who does he think he is?" She glared at Yuusuke from where she was laying on the couch. "What're you two doing home? School isn't out, yet."

Yuusuke sighed. "There were problems. Hiei was singled out by two of the teachers."

Atsuko gave him a bored look. "And? If you're not going to go to school-"

"I know, I know: quit because school costs money. I left for a _reason_, you know!"

"Whatever. Make some coffee."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He put the coffee on, then went to the bedroom and knocked. After about thirty seconds of waiting for a response, he scowled and berated himself for thinking there would be one. He opened the door to find Hiei asleep in his bed. _That looks like a good idea . . ._ The teen yawned, then grabbed his pajamas and went to the bathroom to change. It had been a long day. Cooking dinner could wait until later.

* * *

Yuusuke woke slowly, blinking as he noticed that the sun was setting. _Damn. We got home at **noon**!_ He got up and glanced at Hiei, who was curled underneath the blankets. _I'll wake him up after I get dinner made._

The teen padded into the kitchen, yawning. He noted on the way that his mother seemed to have gone drinking already. _Some mom she is._ He froze as he entered the kitchen to find that dinner was already waiting on the table. After staring in shock for a few minutes, he noticed a note sitting next to one of the plates. He picked it up and read it, his eyes widening as he did.

_Yuu-chan,  
You looked tired, so I decided to make dinner  
tonight. No, I'm not out drinking. I have  
something to take care of. Don't wait up.  
~Atsuko_

Yuusuke shook his head. The food was still hot, meaning she hadn't been gone long. He decided to wake Hiei so they could eat. Then maybe they could go do something interesting. Maybe they could hit the arcades, or the movie theater.

* * *

Yuusuke sighed. They'd ended up in a park. Hiei had refused to go to most of the places he'd suggested. He'd said that he didn't want to deal with humans. Yuusuke thought it was more likely that he didn't want to deal with his claustrophobia. After all, both of those places were generally tightly-packed, closed areas.

Hiei also hadn't wanted to stay inside, probably for the same reason. He had finally agreed to the park when Yuusuke had reluctantly suggested it. While the park was generally boring, it was definitely better than being cooped up inside.

However, it was getting late, and Yuusuke knew that the cops would be making their rounds in the park. As always, his reputation would get them in trouble if they stayed.

"Hiei, we'd better get going."

Hiei scowled. "Hn." He showed no signs of moving from his perch in the tree branch.

"Hiei, you know my reputation. We need to go home."

The fire demon jumped down, his scowl deepening. "You and your damned reputation . . ." He stalked past Yuusuke.

The teen winced. "I'm sorry, Hiei . . ."

"Hn."

Yuusuke gave up. A thought occurred to him. "We're going back to school tomorrow."

Hiei stopped. "I will not-"

Yuusuke interrupted him. "You're going to let them defeat you?" The fire demon stiffened, but didn't reply. "It's settled, then. We're going."

"Whatever." Hiei began walking again.

Yuusuke sighed and followed. _I need a nice, relaxing bath . . ._

He hoped tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as today had been.

* * *

"Urameshi Yuusuke! I did _not_ raise a bum! Get up!"

Yuusuke sat up and blinked at his mother groggily. "What the . . .?"

Atsuko glared at him. "Come on, Lazy! You slept all day yesterday! You too, Hiei. Up!"

_Okay . . . What the hell is going on?!_ Atsuko never acted like this. The most she ever did was sob over him drunkenly and wake him to see if he was still alive. She was acting like . . . a _mom_. He was too surprised to even attempt to argue. Apparently, Hiei was, too, because he obeyed silently, grabbing his clothes and leaving the room.

"Mom! I need to get dressed! Geez!"

The woman laughed. "It's not anything I haven't seen before, Yuu-chan. I _did_ change your diapers." She left anyway.

Yuusuke flushed in embarrassment. _Good grief! I think I like her better drunk . . ._

He dressed quickly and grabbed his and Hiei's daypacks, then left the room. "Mom, we don't have to be there for another hour!" He handed Hiei his daypack and glared at Atsuko. "Why do we have to get up so early, eh?!"

He blinked as Atsuko grinned at him in a way that was positively impish. "You'll see. We're going early. I've got some business to take care of there."

"Business?"

"You'll see. C'mon."

Yuusuke exchanged a look with Hiei, who shrugged, looking bored with the turn of events. _I don't like the sound of this . . ._ But there was no way he was going to stay behind. He had to find out what was going on with Atsuko, now that his curiosity was piqued. He followed his mother from the apartment, locking the door behind them.

* * *

They'd been at the school for nearly half an hour, and Yuusuke had only gotten more confused. Atsuko had dragged them to Iwamoto's classroom, ordered them to stay there, and had disappeared. He leaned against the inner wall of the classroom and looked at his charge. "Hey, Hiei . . . What do you think she's doing?"

Hiei rolled his eyes and continued looking out the window from his perch on the ledge beneath it. "How the hell should I know? She's _your_ mother."

"That's _why_ I'm worried." Hiei just shrugged.

"Worry too much and you'll get an ulcer, Yuu-chan." The teen jumped at Atsuko's voice, then glared at the doorway. "Go ahead and sit down. Iwamoto-san and Akashi-san and I have something to discuss." She turned to the figures waiting outside. "Come on in and have a seat. This won't take long, I assure you." Akashi and Iwamoto entered the classroom and sat, both looking confused. "You too, Yuu-chan. Hiei, you're fine right there."

Yuusuke slowly walked across the room, sitting in a seat near Hiei. _What the heck is going on . . .?_

Atsuko sat on the teacher's desk, grinning at them. "I'm sure you're all wondering what this is about. I know Yuu-chan's been trying to figure it out for about an hour now." Her grin widened and she winked at her son.

Yuusuke groaned. "Just get to it!"

Atsuko ignored him. "In any case, what is said in this room will stay in this room. When I say it, you'll know what will happen if it gets out."

Yuusuke shifted uncomfortably. What the heck was going on?!

"I've heard Yuu-chan complain constantly about two teachers who enjoy harassing him," Atsuko continued, her grin fading. "Asked around and was pointed in the direction of you two. Yuu-chan can easily take care of himself, for the most part. But harassing my nephew is inexcusable, especially when you've been told specifically not to and why."

Hiei looked up in surprise and Yuusuke stared. He had definitely not expected this.

Atsuko's expression was cold as she glared at the two teachers in question. Akashi was sweating slightly, but Iwamoto looked unconcerned. He smirked. "You have no proof, besides the claims of a few punks."

Atsuko grinned suddenly, maliciously. "You're completely correct. I have no proof, so I can't really get you in trouble. At least, not that way."

Yuusuke was pleased to note that Iwamoto suddenly looked worried, but he was still confused. "Urameshi-san, what is this about, exactly? Takenaka-san has already spoken to us regarding this."

"If you cared about what Takenaka had to say, you would have stopped harassing Yuu-chan a long time ago." Atsuko stood and walked across the classroom. "This is about blackmail."

Yuusuke stared at his mother. "_WHAT_?!"

Atsuko shrugged. "I have information about them that they don't want out for social reasons, and if they don't want it to become public . . ." She grinned. "They'll just have to play nice."

Iwamoto stood. "This is ridiculous! I don't have to deal with this."

Atsuko smirked. "You might not have a problem, Iwamoto-san, since your father is no longer alive to berate you, but perhaps you should consult your lover. After all, he's the one with the wife and kids." She glanced at Akashi. "Ne, Akashi-san?"

Yuusuke stared. _Akashi and . . . Iwamoto . . .?_ And since when was Atsuko so well-spoken?!

Akashi paled. "How . . . how did you find out about that?!"

Atsuko chuckled. "I have connections." She glanced at Iwamoto, who seemed just as shocked as Akashi. "Do I have your attention now?"

Iwamoto sat down heavily. "Yes."

Atsuko sat back down on the desk. "I don't like blackmail, usually. And I especially dislike using it against people in your situation. However . . . all other avenues of negotiation were taken. Neither of you have shown any remorse for your behavior, and all signs have pointed to the probability that it would continue." She sighed. "So blackmail was necessary, you see."

Akashi spoke hesitantly. "What assurances do we have that you won't tell if we stop?"

"My honor."

"And them?" Akashi indicated Yuusuke and Hiei.

Yuusuke scowled. "As long as you quit messing with us, I won't tell anyone. I'm not mean-spirited, despite what people say."

"I will not break up a family," Hiei said softly, then returned his attention to the window. Yuusuke bit his lip at that, but was gratified to see both Akashi and Iwamoto cringe. At least they realized the implications behind Hiei's words, even if they didn't know what the statement truly meant.

Atsuko raised an eyebrow. "Satisfied?" She smiled when they nodded, defeated. "Good. It's settled then. You will not harass either of my boys." Hiei looked up, his face filled with surprise for a split second before he shut his emotions in. "Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Iwamoto muttered. "Now, if you would excuse me, I have a class to prepare for."

Atsuko grinned. "We'll take our leave, then. Come along Yuu-chan, Hiei-chan. We're going out for breakfast."

Hiei scowled at the name as he jumped down from the window. "Get used to it," Yuusuke whispered slowly, staring at Atsuko. He was flummoxed. There was no way _this_ was his mother.

She grinned at him as they left the room. "Don't look at me like that, Yuu-chan. There's a _reason_ you haven't been arrested yet."

Yuusuke groaned. It was _not_ going to be a good day . . .

* * *

[1] Honestly!

And, again, a new chapter begs to be written. Yay for working muses! XD

In any case, thank you all for the wonderful reviews and feedback. I'm currently trying to get more of _Half-Breed's Curse_ out. I just wish my notebook for that one hadn't gone missing. In any case, I hope to have that out within a week, though I'm going to visit the parents for Fathers Day, so no promises. ^^

Thanks go out to Yamino Tora and Mina Lightstar for looking this chapter over for me!


	12. Chapter Twelve

Suicide 

by Rose Thorne 

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, Shonen Jump, et al. I do not acknowledge FUNimation with anything but the destruction of the series. 

* * *

Chapter Twelve  
Yuusuke ignored his breakfast in favor of glaring at Atsuko. She wasn't telling him something and it was driving him insane. Normally she was easy to figure out. Normally she was drunk. And apparently normal wasn't anymore.

Hiei, for his part, was ignoring both of them and actually eating voluntarily. Yuusuke figured it was because they were in public. The fire demon probably didn't trust Atsuko not to make a scene. Smart demon. 

Atsuko finally noticed his glower as she lifted her bowl of rice to get the remnants out of the bottom. "Yuu-chan, if you aren't going to eat, give your breakfast to Hiei-chan. He needs some meat on his bones." Hiei pretended not to hear her. 

Yuusuke scowled and started on his tamagoyaki [1]. She knew what was going on and she was ignoring it. He was evidently going to have to wait until she was good and ready to stop beating around the bush. He glanced at Hiei in time to see his charge curl his lip slightly after trying the tamagoyaki. 

"Don't like it?" 

Hiei didn't look up. "Too sweet." 

That startled Yuusuke. Tamagoyaki was only barely sweet, and he'd always assumed that Hiei had a sweet tooth. Though, looking back, he didn't really have any justification for thinking that. He'd only ever seen Hiei drink coffee, and he'd never seen the fire demon eat. If he went off that knowledge, he'd have to assume that Hiei was a anorexic caffeine-addict. Of course, with the way Hiei ate--or didn't eat--the first part could very possibly be true, he realized. The teen glanced at Hiei. "Trade you my rice for your tamagoyaki." 

The fire demon blinked at him, then nodded, and they traded dishes. Atsuko watched them, leaning back in her seat and taking a drag on her cigarette. After a few moments she stubbed it out in the ashtray and flagged down a waiter. "Sake." 

Yuusuke stared at her. "You're going to drink already? It's only nine!" 

Atsuko shrugged. "I missed out on boozing last night. Gotta make up for it." 

Yuusuke rolled his eyes. He should have known better than to think she'd changed that much. But, he reminded himself, she had changed a little bit. He glanced at Hiei, who had finished eating, and finished up his tamagoyaki. "If you're going to get drunk, we're gonna go to school." 

Atsuko snorted. "Since when are you so concerned about studies, Yuu-chan?" 

"Well, one of us has to be mature about things," Yuusuke muttered. Atsuko didn't react, which was fine with him. He stood. "Thanks for breakfast, Mom. C'mon, Hiei." 

Yuusuke frowned as Botan bounced up beside him and Hiei as they walked home from school, which had been blessedly uneventful. "What's up?" 

Botan bit her lip, glancing at Hiei, who ignored her. "Mission." 

Yuusuke groaned. "You gotta be kidding me. Can't the Reikai Special Defense Team take care of it?" 

"They've been taking care of missions lately. We've been having some big problems with demons trying to get to the Ningenkai lately." She met Yuusuke's eyes, then glanced at Hiei meaningfully. "We have another problem, and they're already occupied." 

"Dammit . . ." Yuusuke sighed. There was a problem relating to Hiei. Again. Just what he needed. "Have you talked to Kurama and Kuwabara yet?" 

Botan shook her head. "I found you first." 

For obvious reasons. Yuusuke kicked himself mentally for asking such a stupid question. "Well, where should we meet?" He shook his head. "Never mind. We'll meet at Kuwabara's house. You can find Kurama. We'll find Kuwabara and meet you there." 

"Right." Botan summoned her oar and hopped on, then soared into the sky. 

Yuusuke watched her disappear, then turned to Hiei, who looked more than a little annoyed. "We'll check the pachinko parlor first." 

Hiei rolled his eyes. "The Fool said he was going home today, remember? Something about his sister." The fire demon sighed. "I take it someone's decided to take advantage of my death wish?" 

"I don't know," Yuusuke replied softly, glancing up at the sky again. "I guess we'll find out when we get to the Reikai." 

"Hn." 

* * *

[1] Tamagoyaki is rolled omelet, usually slightly sweet.

Yes, I know this was short and a cliffhanger. Please bear with me. 

Sorry for the huge time lag, everyone. Things have been insane on my end of things. I've had huge workloads for school, first off. I was also trying to write originals, and I still am trying. In addition, for a while I had an absolutely awful job as a telemarketer. I'm also helping Chrissy Sky with Enma's Torment Theatre, which is a MST series that you can find on mediaminer.org (it contains lemons, the first I've ever written). Basically, every other MST is one of my fics, so it was really a lot of fun to do and very therapeutic. 

This Spring I had some very depressing events occur, like my younger brother being sent to Kuwait by the Army and a long-time friend finding religion and rejecting our friendship because of her newfound neo-Puritan beliefs. That was the first time I've gotten the "turn straight or we can't be friends" talk, and I've been out for about four years. In fact, around that time I lost three different friends because of religion. Not fun. 

Then, more recently, I went on Study Abroad in Cuba (I turned 21 there; yay!), and it's hard to write when you're trying to process a huge onslaught of information that's been thrown at you. I actually just got back on June 9th, and I started summer classes on the 14th. So I'm rather swamped and have been for a long time. My only break from schoolwork in the past year was around Christmas, and even then I had no time to do anything. 

I don't know if I'm going to keep this up. This is really the only fic I want to finish. The others don't really appeal to me, and I'm not really all that into YYH anymore. I am to a certain extent, but not as much as I used to be. Plus, in my opinion, the fandom has really gone downhill. If I don't have good fanfiction to read to inspire me to write, I don't write and I lose interest. That's just the way it is. 

On a similar topic, this is probably the last year that Green Grapes and Lemonade will be run. It's a yaoi/shounen ai fanfiction contest for YYH, and it hasn't gotten many submissions, even though I know there are people out there with fics to submit. The URL is and the last day for submission is July 1st, which I know is coming up very fast. Send some good fics in to inspire me! :P 

Anyway, this is an extremely short chapter because I don't have time to write right now and I want to reassure you guys that I will be trying to get more of this out in the coming weeks. Right now I have 4 textbook chapters to read and a 2-3 page paper to write by 11am tomorrow morning, so be happy with this for now. I'll try to sit down and write some this weekend, but no promises. 

Wow. I think the author's note is longer than the actual chapter. -.-; Whoops. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Suicide 

by Rose Thorne 

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, Shonen Jump, et al. I do not acknowledge FUNimation with anything but the destruction of the series (with the possible exception of the Sensui Arc). 

**Note: If you skip the author's note at the end because you don't care about me, don't bother reviewing because I don't care about you.**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen  
Yuusuke scowled as Botan led them to Koenma's office. They'd just returned from the mission. The youkai had been rather weak, but it had put up a damned good fight and had taunted them before they'd finally managed to kill it.

Despite Koenma's "dead or alive" allowance for this mission, Yuusuke had wanted to bring the bastard in alive. If it was after Hiei, it probably knew who else was, too. That information was important. Even with the taunting, and the infuriating insinuations of what it had planned for Hiei if it reached him, Yuusuke had wanted to capture it. 

Kurama had been the one to kill it, seemingly giving up on niceties when the youkai had spoken of the different uses he could get from Hiei's body. Ever since the battle, the half-youko hadn't spoken, his aura spiking with barely-concealed anger. 

That was one thing Yuusuke couldn't understand. Kurama was fine with leading Hiei on and with betraying his trust, but he was angry over something like this? It just didn't make sense. Sure, Yuusuke was pissed over it, but Kurama... Well, he really wasn't sure what to make of Kurama. 

Koenma barely greeted them as they entered his office. "You took care of it?" 

Yuusuke's scowl deepened. "Obviously. We had to kill it, though." 

The demi-god shrugged and continued stamping documents. "Dead or alive, it doesn't matter." 

Yuusuke opened his mouth to speak, thoroughly annoyed by Koenma's unconcerned attitude, but he was beaten by Kuwabara. "It does too! If we'd captured the bastard, we'd know more about who all's after Hiei!" 

Kurama stiffened at that, Yuusuke noticed with a tiny thrill of guilty satisfaction. The redhead shook his head after a few moments. "It was dangerous. If it had escaped . . ." 

Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't have." He turned to Koenma. "Where's Hiei? We have better things to do than hang around here." 

Koenma glared at him, pausing in his work, but answered. "We put him in Botan's quarters. She can take you there." They started to leave, but the godling spoke again. "He won't regain consciousness for several hours, you know. You should probably just stay here until he does." 

Yuusuke stared at Koenma. "Why will it take so long?" 

The toddler set the stamp down and sat back in his chair. "Security. That's how I set the barrier up." 

"Well that's fucking ridiculous, not to mention dangerous," Yuusuke spat. "We're going back to the Ningenkai. I'll _carry_ him, but we're not staying here. I've had enough of this shit for one day." He stormed out of the room, knowing there was very little reason for him to blow up at Koenma, but the whole situation was frustrating and he felt helpless to do anything about it. 

The teen gave Botan a sharp look and she jumped, hiding behind her oar. "Right... to my place..." She led them there and let them in. 

The sight of Hiei sprawled haphazardly on the bed, as if someone had just thrown him there, angered Yuusuke further, though he wasn't really sure why. He bit his tongue, refusing to say anything since Botan probably hadn't been responsible for it, instead moving toward the bed and carefully picking the fire demon up. 

Kurama and Kuwabara were waiting in the hallway, and they immediately set off for the Ningenkai, led again by Botan, who was to open a gate for them. 

It took Yuusuke a long time to calm down after he got back home. He just wanted something to beat to dust, to take his frustration out on, but he couldn't leave the apartment while Hiei was unconscious, and he couldn't exactly destroy something in the apartment unless he wanted Atsuko to ride his ass for the next several days. 

Instead he employed some rarely-used meditation techniques that Genkai had pounded into him during his training, using them to calm down. He didn't want to be this angry when Hiei woke up, especially since Hiei was already skittish around him. 

He was just calming down when the bedroom door opened and Hiei padded out, looking extremely confused and troubled. Yuusuke took a few deep breaths before speaking. "We got the demon. Killed it." 

Hiei blinked at him. "How did we get here?" 

Yuusuke felt his aura flare as his annoyance at the situation kicked back in, and he sighed as Hiei took a small step backward in response. "Koenma didn't tell us that you don't wake up right away because of the barrier. I figured it was better if I carried you home." 

The fire demon stared at him for a moment before looking away self-consciously and walking to the window and curling up in the chair that he had apparently claimed. He didn't say anything. 

Yuusuke sighed again. He really didn't understand why Hiei was so uncomfortable around him, but he wasn't going to pry. The teen stood, ready to retreat to the kitchen. "I'm going to go ahead and cook dinner." The announcement received no acknowledgement, not that he'd expected any. Hiei was already engrossed in the cityscape. 

When Yuusuke came back into the living room half an hour later, Hiei was asleep again, his arms folded on the windowsill with his head resting atop them. He stood beside the fire demon and called his name, receiving no response. Finally he reached out to touch Hiei's shoulder. 

Hiei woke before Yuusuke's hand reached him. The Jaganshi flinched back violently, rocking the chair slightly. Yuusuke withdrew the offending hand and Hiei glared at him, a wild, unidentifiable look in his eyes. "Don't touch me." 

"You didn't wake up when I called," Yuusuke explained testily, more than a little annoyed by Hiei's apparent aversion toward him. "Why are you always so jumpy?" 

Hiei scowled and skirted around Yuusuke. "I'm not jumpy." 

He'd sidestepped the question. Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "Right. You normally act like my touch burns." 

Hiei flinched slightly, but he seemed to settle on ignoring the teen and stalked to the kitchen instead. Yuusuke followed, shaking his head. He was really getting sick of this. He was trying to be Hiei's friend, and it was really frustrating to be shoved away at every turn. 

Yuusuke yawned widely as class let out. They had P.E. next, and then one more class before they could leave. Hopefully, it would be uneventful. He just wanted to get out of there. 

Hiei had been resolutely ignoring him for most of the day, only responding when absolutely necessary. It was annoying Yuusuke, but there wasn't anything he could do about it, especially since he didn't know what the fire demon's issue was. 

"I'm not going to this class." 

Yuusuke blinked, somewhat surprised that Hiei had addressed him. "Oh?" 

"There's no point. They're just stupid games." 

True enough. Yuusuke shrugged. "Then let's ditch." They changed directions and headed for the stairs. 

Before they got there, the teacher rounded the corner. "Oi! Urameshi! Neither of you are skipping today! Get in the locker room!" 

Yuusuke should've known that the day wouldn't be uneventful. Hell, he hadn't had an uneventful day since he'd died. Why should this one be any different? 

P.E. had been divided, with one half playing volleyball and the other playing basketball. Yuusuke had been split from Hiei and assigned to basketball, so he wasn't entirely sure what had happened, only that it involved a volleyball traveling at high speed and had ended with one of the class punks getting a concussion. 

The entire last period of classes had been spent dealing with bureaucracy. Yuusuke would've preferred class. Hiei had been unhelpful the entire time, leaving Yuusuke to deal with it. In fact, the fire demon was still ignoring him. 

Yuusuke slung his bag over his shoulder. "What happened in class?" 

Hiei didn't answer for a moment, then shrugged. "Play for dominance." 

"What?" 

The fire demon sighed. "He tried to prove he was above me, and I knocked him off his pedestal. It's really none of your business." 

Yuusuke scowled. "Fine. Don't expect my help with them, then." 

"I don't need your help." 

The teen didn't bother to reply. He was too frustrated to be bothered with Hiei right now. If Hiei wanted to ignore him for most of the day, he could deal with the same thing in return. 

* * *

What was originally here in the author's note was a huge rant, but I cut it out because I don't care that much. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now, so it might take a while to get chapter 14 out.

Suffice to say: Don't complain about me taking so long getting out new chapters, because I don't even have to finish this story if I don't want to. I am really busy and dealing with a lot of issues. If you can't handle that then please hit the back button and don't read my fanfiction anymore. Simple as that. 

Also, I know this is kind of jumping around. I'm currently setting the plotline up for later events. Bear with it. 

To Rath: I'm a lesbian. I'd bet she wouldn't have had as much of an issue if I was bi, because then at least I'd have a chance of being "normal" in her eyes. Personally, I'm starting to be glad that she's gone. I don't need that negativity in my life. 

Quick request: If you are going to review, please don't just tell me you liked it. Here's my assignment to you guys: Tell me one thing you liked and one thing you didn't like in this chapter--style, characterization, plotline, inconsistencies, anything. I'm still learning, and I'd really like you guys to help me learn, and by critiquing me, you might learn something yourself. Probably about the only thing that'll annoy me is someone complaining about the fic being yaoi, or someone yelling at me about Kurama's as-yet-unexplained characterization (there is a reason for his actions; keep reading the fic to find out what they are, because they will be revealed later on). 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Suicide**

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, Shonen Jump, et al. I do not acknowledge FUNimation with anything but the destruction of the series (with the possible exception of the Sensui Arc).

* * *

Yuusuke relaxed as the hot bathwater enveloped him. He certainly needed it. It had been several weeks since what Yuusuke was privately calling "The Volleyball Incident," and they hadn't been in P.E. since. Yuusuke hadn't exactly feared retribution--the punks couldn't manage that anyway--but he didn't feel like dealing with another incident. 

"The Volleyball Incident" had, of course, shortly followed "The Keiko Incident," which Hiei had still not forgotten. Nor had Keiko, if her avoidance was any indication. Hiei encouraged it, with his glowers and, frankly, hostile body language.

Yuusuke was more than a little peeved about it. Keiko had every right to slap Hiei when she did. He'd deserved it. Hiei knew--or should have known--better than to mouth off to Keiko. After all, Kuwabara constantly teased Yuusuke about Keiko slapping him around.

It was more likely that Hiei was angry with himself. First, because he _knew_ he deserved the slap, and second because he was a full-fledged demon and still hadn't been able to avoid Keiko's hand. Yuusuke knew better than anyone that Keiko didn't pull her slaps--she got her whole body behind them and probably any reiki she happened to have. For Hiei it had just stung in more ways than one.

But it still meant that Keiko avoided him.

On the bright side--if there was one, Yuusuke groused to himself--there hadn't been any more attacks. Or, at least, no more summons from Koenma. The little bastard was staying out of their business, as far as Yuusuke knew. Any Reikai Tantei business was being taken care of by the Reikai Special Defense Team. Not that Yuusuke had any reason to trust them.

None of this had made Yuusuke's life easier. He leaned the back of his head against the edge of the tub, relaxing in the piping-hot water. Hiei was still just as difficult to deal with as before. Yuusuke wanted to find out what was wrong--what had really made Hiei attempt suicide. Or what combination of things, anyway. Yuusuke wanted to make it better, somehow.

But it was frustrating. The little fire demon would begin to get close and open up, only to dance away and close up tighter than before. Yuusuke twisted his back until it popped, then relaxed again. The worst was that Hiei acted as though he was going to hurt him. Yuusuke couldn't help but feel insulted. He may have had to beat Hiei up the first time they'd met, but he'd trusted the sanjiyan with his life the second and ever since, and he'd never been disappointed. Why would Yuusuke want to hurt him?

Yuusuke slowly brought his arms out of the water and stretched, noticing with annoyance that his fingers were starting to look pruny. It was time to get out.

* * *

Hiei was reading, of all things, a _textbook_ when Yuusuke got back into the bedroom. He could only shake his head in wry amusement. "Homework?" 

The fire demon scowled at him, "It's interesting." It was the history book.

"Oh?"

"For propaganda, anyway." Hiei closed the book and tossed it on the floor. "Japan's the greatest nation in the world, all other nations are inferior. Yadda yadda."

Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "That's pretty typical from any school history book. I'm guessing in any country, too. The nationalism thing."

"Hn."

"Shower's open. I'm going to bed."

It was Hiei's turn to tease. "No homework?"

The teen laughed. "Since when have I done homework?"

Hiei got up. "Since when did you know what nationalism is?"

"Oi!" Yuusuke gave him a fake irritated look. The fire demon rolled his eyes and left the room.

Well, Yuusuke supposed it wasn't _all_ bad.

* * *

The next day, on their way home from another uneventful school day, Yuusuke was still irritated that Keiko was avoiding them. He was about to mention it to Hiei, when the fire demon spoke casually. 

"You realize someone's following us, right? And don't look, you idiot."

Yuusuke scowled; he wasn't stupid. "Punks from school?"

"You wish. Demon aura. And I don't think it's just one."

Yuusuke tried to sense it. "I can't feel anyone. How can you tell?"

"I've been stalked plenty of times. They're there." The fire demon shrugged. "They're masking their ki, or trying to."

The teen cursed under his breath. "Alright. We need to get away from people. Head toward Genkai's?"

Hiei nodded, and they changed direction. "The nosy fox is headed toward us, too. I think he noticed."

Yuusuke _could_ feel Kurama, but he was pretty far off. "They won't wait for him. As soon as we stop or get into a relatively secluded area, they're going to attack." He was irritated. "So much for the Reikai Special Defense Team." He picked up his walking pace.

Hiei kept up. "As if we have any reason to trust them anyway. Didn't Enma order them to kill you?"

Yuusuke rolled his eyes. "Lots of people try to kill me, Hiei. Part of my job description, I guess."

Hiei scowled. "Wouldn't put it past them to wait until we're in real trouble before stepping in. Just like the Reikai."

Yuusuke had the impression he was talking about something different. "We can handle it."

"I don't exactly have a weapon on me, Yuusuke."

"Use your fists and ki. You don't need your sword to fight, do you?"

Hiei didn't reply to that. Instead he said, "As soon as we're away from people, we need to run."

"Right."

* * *

Yuusuke regained consciousness and quickly sat up. "Hiei!" He winced as a headache hit him right between his eyes. 

Kurama was nearby, and Yuusuke quickly realized they were at Genkai's. "He'll be okay." The youko frowned at him. "Do you remember what happened?"

"We were being followed and decided to head to Genkai's. We started running when we got away from people. That's all I remember." Yuusuke glanced around the room to see Hiei lying on another pallet. "What happened after that?"

"One of the attackers was a ward master. The ward he put on you rendered you unconscious. Hiei killed him."

Yuusuke groaned. "That explains the headache, anyway. Genkai removed it?"

Kurama nodded. "I got there pretty late. Kuwabara arrived right after me. By that time, Hiei was pretty battered, and completely out of ki. He saw us and passed out. He would've been killed if we hadn't stepped in."

"Shit." Yuusuke watched Hiei, noting the fresh bandages on his arm. "Did he use the kokuryuha?"

Kurama shook his head. "No. He was using the Jaou Ensatsu Ken when we showed up. He probably used Rengoku Shou as well."

Yuusuke frowned. "Then why'd he run out of youki?"

"Not sure."

Yuusuke ran a hand through his hair. "He should've kept running." Then he scowled. "But he couldn't with the barrier." Not that Hiei would have anyway.

Kurama stood. "He was _protecting_ you when we go there, Yuusuke. Hiei wasn't going to leave you behind." The redhead left the room.

Yuusuke sighed and got up, ignoring his headache and stumbling across the room to sit next to Hiei. Upon closer examination, the bandages on his arms were more of a cast. The teen frowned as he checked Hiei's youki; it was barely there.

Yukina came in. "Ah, Yuusuke-san! You're awake!" Yukina knelt near Hiei, checking him.

"Yeah. Is he okay?"

Yukina bit her lip. "He was a lot worse when they brought him here. Kazuma-san transferred reiki to him, and that helped a lot."

"But he's still bad?"

"I healed what I could. His arm was _shattered_ in several places, and we don't know why." She placed her hand on his arm, the palm glowing blue. "I still can't heal it all the way yet."

Yuusuke watched silently for a moment. "Any other injuries?"

Yukina shook her head. "I took care of the rest, but that arm... It's really bad."

"Permanent damage?" He hoped not.

"Not if I can help it." The Koorime frowned. "Genkai-san said that you should be resting. You were injured, too."

"Can't sleep with a headache."

Yukina smiled. "You should have said something, Yuusuke-san. Go lay down and I'll get some medicine for you."

* * *

The next time Yuusuke woke, it was dark out--so dark he could barely see anything. And he had to pee. He got up and headed toward the door, and nearly tripped over someone lying on the floor. 

"Oi!" It was Kuwabara. "Watch it, Urameshi!"

"You're the one lying in the middle of the floor, idiot." Yuusuke moved for the door and a bit of light filled the room when he opened it. "What time is it anyway?"

Kuwabara looked at his watch. "Two in the morning." He stretched. "Hiei woke up a while back, but not for very long."

Yuusuke glanced toward the sleeping fire demon. "He okay, then?"

"Dunno. He was pretty out of it. Asked if you were okay, then passed out again. Yukina-chan says he's sleeping normally."

"That's probably a good thing. I need to go talk to Genkai. Stay with Hiei."

* * *

"Hiei killed the demon that set the ward on you, but I doubt it was behind the creation of that ward," Genkai told him, pushing a cup toward him and gesturing toward the teapot. 

Yuusuke filled his cup and took a sip. He nearly choked. "What is this shit? It's bitter!"

"Ginseng.(1) Drink it." Yuusuke made a face, but downed it, looking slightly green as Genkai poured him another cup. "Anyway, as I was saying, the ward was designed to siphon off your ki. Not sure where it went, but a sure bet it was going to whoever designed the ward."

Yuusuke drank the second cup and then poured himself a third. "Any way we can track it?"

Genkai shook her head. "I had to destroy it to get it off you. No way to track what no longer exists."

"Shit. Was it after me or Hiei, then?"

"Like we'd know that already." Genkai rolled her eyes. "All we know is that some demon gorged on your aura."

"Great. Did Hiei get warded, too? Yukina said Kuwabara had to give him reiki because he was so low."

"Nope. He just used too much. Nearly died from it, too."

Yuusuke frowned. "But he didn't use the dragon."

"He also didn't have access to his Jagan. That might have something to do with it."

The teen cursed. "I guess I'll have to go have a chat with Koenma, if that's the case."

Genkai sipped her own tea, which Yuusuke noted was _not_ ginseng. "It was stupid to ward it without knowing the impacts. He's really lucky to be alive right now. Had he not been warded, he may have been able to block the attack that ruined his arm."

Yuusuke winced. "Then his arm's messed up for keeps?"

"Yukina's had a hard time healing it. She'll probably get it in the end." The reiki master shrugged. "I suggest talking to Koenma soon; unwarding his Jagan might help him recover."

"I'll call Botan as soon as the sun's up." He drained his third cup and decided to go make use of the toilet again.

"You might want to call your mother in the meantime."

"Oh, _fuck_."

* * *

(1) Ginseng tea is an ancient Chinese remedy for illness and lack of energy. It is said to replenish "vital energy," or Chinese chi. Which is, of course, ki. It's also, apparently, quite bitter, so people lace it with anything from honey to chrysanthemum to rock sugar. Obviously, Genkai didn't do this. 

Yes, Yuusuke's really in the bath in the beginning. In Japan, it's customary to shower and then use the bath to relax and stay healthy. If you're lucky enough to have a bath, anyway. Baths are good for reflection, which is what I needed after not writing this for so long.

I graduated from college. Writing a little fanfic as a form of pure relaxation is my little graduation gift to myself. Mostly because the damned thing wouldn't leave me alone.

Apparently I'll come back to fanfiction every so often or something. Hikari says not to be too worried about it. Right now I think it's because I've got no direction, and I got rejected from all the creative writing MFA programs I tried to get into (if you don't count the one that lost my application). Maybe I need a bit of a break from "real" writing. Or whatever.

Don't ask when the next update will come. If it does come, I'll be surprised myself. I think another chapter of Half-Breed's Curse is bashing me on the head, too.

BTW - I absolutely hate FFN right now. I really didn't want to have to use hr to distinguish sections of the fic, but even .doc wouldn't work properly. Back in the day I could upload a text file with html and the proper html and body tags, and it'd work. Now it won't let me. Crap.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Suicide** by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, Shonen Jump, et al. I do not acknowledge FUNimation with anything but the destruction of the series (with the possible exception of the Sensui Arc).

* * *

_Chapter Fifteen_  
Atsuko, thankfully, had been drunk when Yuusuke called. He told her they were spending the weekend with friends and hoped she didn't realize it was Thursday. She hadn't, and had wished them, in a very slurred voice, a good trip.

Then he'd grabbed some food and relieved Kuwabara on watching-Hiei-sleep duty. Kuwabara had gone to take a nap in another part of the temple. Yuusuke was worried, now, about the arm, which was badly swollen in places, despite being elevated on a pillow. It was obvious that Yukina had rewrapped his arm several times, and several melted ice packs lay alongside the limb. Even so, Yuusuke was shocked that Hiei managed to sleep through the pain.

Then Hiei's breath caught, and his body tensed. He took in a breath between clenched teeth.

"Hiei?"

The fire demon's eyes opened slowly, and he moved slightly, then made a very soft, pained noise in the back of his throat. "Yuusuke? Okay?"

"I'm fine. Don't move. You're still hurt." Yuusuke moved closer. "I can get Yukina if you need her."

Hiei shook his head. "My arm."

"It's pretty bad. Yukina's healing it, but she says it was shattered. How?"

"Ki blast. Close range. Broke through the kekkai."

"It broke through the kekkai?"

"Not strong enough. Jagan focuses..." Hiei's left, undamaged hand fisted in the blanket, and his breathing quickened with pain.

Yuusuke winced. "I'm going to get Yukina. She can give you painkillers, I hope."

"Nnngg..." was Hiei's only response.

Yuusuke found Yukina in the kitchen and quickly brought her to Hiei. The fire demon was only half-conscious by the time they got back, his breath coming in little pants.

"Oniisan!" Yukina hurried to him and put his head in her lap, carefully giving him some medicine. "I'm going to heal you more, Hiei. I'm sorry it's taking so long."

Hiei just groaned softly. Yukina touched his arm gently and a blue glow surrounded her hand. The swelling went down a little. Hiei was unconscious by the time she finished.

Yukina was breathing heavily when she finished. "I put something in the painkiller to knock him out," she said softly.

Yuusuke nodded. "Better that he's not awake during this, anyway. How much more damage is there?"

She gently lowered Hiei's head to the pillow and moved to check his arm. "Three more healings, I think. Another day?"

"That's good. Lasting damage?"

Yukina shook her head. "Nothing major. Maybe some pain during bad storms." She refroze the ice packs. "Keeping the swelling down helps with healing."

"He said it happened because he can't use the Jagan."

Yukina frowned. "That's dangerous."

"I know." Yuusuke watched Hiei for a moment, then headed for the door. "Is Kurama around?"

"He's in the garden." She moved some hair from Hiei's face. "I can stay here with Hiei. Are you going to talk to Koenma-sama as well?"

Yuusuke's face darkened as he paused in the doorway. "You could call it that."

* * *

Kurama was fiddling with several flowers when Yuusuke found him. "What're you doing?"

The redhead glanced at him. "Aiding the fertilization process so I can harvest more seeds."

"Oh." Yuusuke watched him.

Kurama let the blossoms go and moved on to the next set. "Is there something you need?"

Yuusuke sighed. "We need to talk." He leaned against a tree. "You know more about what's going on with Hiei than you're letting on."

Kurama frowned at him. "No, I don't."

"Really? Because I overheard a very interesting conversation between you two when we were shopping."

The fox glared at him, dropping the plants he was working with. "That was none of your business, Yuusuke."

Yuusuke matched his glare. "As I see it, it _is_ my business. It seems to me that _I'm_ the one taking care of Hiei, something you didn't volunteer for." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm his friend, and I care about him. I want to know what's going on."

Kurama looked angry. "You have no right to intrude."

"Given that your rejection is at least part of the reason Hiei attempted suicide, I think I do."

Kurama flinched and looked away. "Was I supposed to lie to him?" he asked softly. "How would that have helped anything?"

Yuusuke watched him for a while. "No. You were supposed to tell him the truth."

"It _was_ the truth."

"Then why do you always watch him and follow him around?" Kurama didn't answer. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did yesterday. We'd have been screwed. But there's a reason you're watching out for him. You always have. Hell, you're the one who found him in the first place."

"He's a friend," Kurama whispered.

"You love him."

Kurama stood. "But he doesn't return it."

Yuusuke snorted in disbelief. "Could've fooled me."

They glared at each other for a while. "I've known Hiei longer than you have, Yuusuke. He transferred his affection to me after he gave up on- ...someone else."

Yuusuke noticed the omission, but decided not to pursue it. "So what was the problem?"

Kurama toyed with a lily for a moment, thinking before he answered. "He would've been content for a while, but I'm not the one he wants. In the long run, it would've been worse for him." The redhead looked at Yuusuke. "I want him to find happiness, and he wouldn't with me."

"You don't know that."

"I would regret having let him give up on it." Kurama looked away. "_I_ wouldn't be happy."

He didn't know what to say to that, so he changed tracks. "Who, then?"

Kurama shook his head. "I've already said too much."

Yuusuke scowled. "Like to Koenma?"

"Oh, grow up. Koenma's just as involved in this as we are. This isn't a mission with someone to blame, Yuusuke." Kurama bent back over his flowers. "I don't have time for this. If you're that interested, ask Hiei."

"Fine," Yuusuke said. "I need to go have a talk with Koenma anyway."

Kurama frowned. "About what?"

"Unwarding Hiei's Jagan. The ward's the reason he got hurt."

Kurama nodded. "Then it's important to get the ward removed. Good luck. See if you can get Botan to help Yukina with the healing."

Yuusuke wanted to stay mad at Kurama, but found that the anger was gone. He sighed. "Yeah. Good idea."

* * *

See. Kurama's not evil. He's just looking out, to a certain extent, for his own feelings. Welcome to humanity. Note that Hiei omitted several things himself, which is something that Yuusuke doesn't know. Kurama _did_ tell Hiei that he didn't know what love was, but in a very different context. It was more along the lines of, "If you're giving up, you don't know what love is." But, see, Hiei's keeping secrets, just as Kurama is. Miscommunication.

Have I mentioned that this fic and _Half-Breed's Curse_ have recently taken over my mind? What the hell? Seriously, I was going to spend my summer finishing a screenplay and writing new short stories! Maybe even do a novel. First summer in five years that I've had no classes!

It doesn't help that these two are the _fun_ fics. Like at the end of this one- oh, wait. Spoilers are bad.


End file.
